On The Edge
by MysticMortal
Summary: Callie feels like she is on the edge. Any movement could cause her to fall. Will Stef and Lena catch her if she falls ? Sorry about the sucky summary. Just give it a go :) Mainly Callie/Stef/Lena - No Braillie -Trigger Warnings
1. Chapter 1

A/N –This is my first fanfic so please be kind :)

Also I have picked and chosen what story lines I follow from the show to fit my story. Sorry !

I welcome all suggestions and feedback. Enjoy

 **Chapter 1**

 **Callie**

As I watch the slow trickle of red and feel the electricity coursing through my veins I finally feel the relief I have been craving. I lean my head back against the cold porcelain tile and I slowly breathe out. I feel like I have been holding my breath and I was finally able to breath. This would be the last time I tell myself. I know it's a lie but I need to tell myself it I can only hope that maybe one day it will be the truth. Stef and Lena don't deserve this. One day they will realise that I am too much hassle and get rid of me. I hope they keep Jude…No, I will make them keep Jude. He deserves them. He deserves a family and everyone is right I ruin everything.

There was a knock at the door and I come out of my daze.

"Callie?"

"Uh Yea? " I call out hoping that whoever it will leave.

"You okay Sweets?" It was Stef I soon realised.

"Yea I'm fine I will be right out."

"Alright well breakfast is ready when you are"

"Thanks"

I take a deep breath as I hear her footsteps walking away from the door.

She means well. I know she worries so does Lena. But they don't understand. They never will and I'm not about to help them understand.

Today is Friday and last day of school before Saturday which is Group. I'll see Sarah. Which means I will most likely have to see him. Liam. Just thinking about him I get chills and the urge to vomit. I push the thoughts and feelings down and I sigh. Time to go out and face the day. I take one last look around to make sure I haven't left anything around. The last thing I need is Stef or Lena on my back.

"You can do this. For Jude" I mumble to myself. It gives me the strength to walk out to the kitchen.

I come out and take the last seat at the table which is near Jude.

I look around at everyone. Mariana and Jesus are arguing about some piece of gossip they heard at school yesterday. Brandon is sitting there doing his homework and Jude is laughing at something Lena had said to him. He looks so happy, I can tell he really loves these people and I am trying so hard not to screw this all up for him. I look to Stef and she is watching me carefully. I dart my eyes away from her instant but I still feel her gaze. Her gaze feels like it penetrates my soul sometimes. It's like she knows what I am feeling without even saying a word. It makes me nervous.

I stare at the eggs and bacon sitting on my plate for a minute before continuing to eating even though I am not hungry. If I ask to leave they will ask questions. Questions that require answers I cannot give them and I just can't handle that right now. I feel so close to the edge today. I am scared to lean in case I fall. I think of falling and for a moment I wonder if Stef and Lena would catch me. I dismiss the thought right away. They will just be like everyone else.

I am pulled out of my train of thought when I hear a clang and everyone goes silent. It takes me a moment to realise but they are looking at me. Damn. I had dropped my fork onto the plate.

"Sorry I must have gotten lost in my thoughts" I say to the room. Hoping that it will suffice.

"Are you okay Callie Girl?" Lena asks me.

"I'm fine" I reply.

"Okay sweets but we are here if you want to talk yes?" Stef says to me.

"I said I was Fine!" I say a bit louder. I really want to tell them I wasn't. "Can we leave now? I don't want to be late"

"In a minute love, just sit down. We didn't mean anything by it. We just worry about you." Stef says to me. I don't know whether to trust her. They will run a mile when they find things out.

"Alright everyone let's get going." Lena says after a few minutes saving me from having to answer. "I will be out in five minutes. I walk outside and wait by the front door. From where I am standing I can Stef and Lena.

"What was that?" Steph asked Lena.

"I'm not sure babe but I'm sure it will be fine. She is a teenager after all mood swings comes with the territory." Lena says.

"Yes but she is no ordinary teenager, she is Callie." Stef sighed. She knows something is wrong. It's only a matter of time now before I'm on my own again.

"I'll keep an eye at her at school. Have a good day at work" Lena walks out the door and catches me listening to their conversation. I pull my hoody up and my head down. I rush down to the car.

"Bye my Babies" Stef calls out from the front door in full uniform and a coffee in her hand.

When I get to the car I climb into the back and put my headphones in. This is going to be a long day.

I am sitting in English class with Timothy and giving a lesson on using emotions in writing.

" _You need to make your characters relatable_ _. Think about a time in which you felt what your character felt._ _Be specific_ _, don't just write "he was happy", tell us why he was happy, or how happy he is._ _Use the setting_ _. I don't mean you should make it rain when it's a sad scene, I'm saying people perceive what's around them differently when they're feeling a certain way. If they're happy, they may fail to notice their dull grey surroundings, or even find them beautiful._ _Use internal dialogue_ _, tell us about what your character is thinking._

 _Merely telling us about your character's emotions will do nothing. Explain them to us,_ _show them to us. "_

I am trying to listen but all I can are the two girls behind me talking loudly about a party that is on Saturday. It was starting to annoy me so I politely turned around and asked them to be quiet. They looked at me like I nothing. They scoffed and went right back to what they were talking about. That was it I couldn't handle this anymore.

"Would you please shut the fuck up?" I yell at them.

"Callie sit down please and girls' one warning stop talking or take a walking to the principal's office." Timothy said. Crap he was going to ask me about this after class. I glance at the clock and watch the minutes and seconds fade away.

" _Okay class for this week's assessment I want you to write a story about a family and I want to feel the emotions in your writing. It can be as long or as short as you want as long as it makes me feel something."_ Timothy announced as the bell rand and everyone stood up. I grab my bag and find my way in the middle of the group of students and manage to make my out of class unnoticed by Timothy.

The rest of the day goes by uneventful and as I walk out my last class I catch up with Wyatt.

"Want to come to mine and chill out. Maybe watch some TV?" Wyatt askes me and after a moment of though I think it will at least put of the interrogation tonight from Stef and Lena.

"Alright, l will just text Lena and tell her" I say as I am picking up my phone to text Lena.

"Cool, let's do this." Wyatt says as we drive off.

 **Lena**

I am sitting at my desk doing some work when I hear someone knock at the door.

"Come in" I call out. I look up and see Timothy walk through the door.

"Everything okay?" I ask him.

"Is everything okay with Callie?" Timothy asked me.

"I believe so. Why? What happened?"

"Well the last few week she has been fairly distant and quiet but I let it go, you know how teenagers are. Well today she was downright rude to some of the other students. She used a few choice words I know you would not like very much. As soon as the bell rang she left before I had a chance to speak with her." Timothy tells me.

I was beginning to worry about our Callie girl.

"She was a bit odd this morning and has been a bit quieter than usual but we have asked and she has always said she was fine. "

"Well I better get back to my class now. I hope everything is okay Lena."

"Thanks Timothy" I say as I close the door.

The rest of the day went by fairly uneventful. I had to break up a fight between two friends after one had apparently stolen the other girl's boyfriend but it was nothing major.

As the bell rings I clean up my desk and file the last few forms I had filled out. I head out to the car to wait for the kids to appear. Jude was first.

"Hey buddie how was school today?" I asked him.

"It was good" he said quietly. "We had a math test today". The last part was so quiet I barely heard him.

"Oh? How did you go?" I ask hoping that he did okay.

"I think it went okay but not great" He tells me honestly.

"I'm sure you did well" I encourage him. He had picked up a lot since he first started at Anchor Beach. He has worked super hard and we were so proud of him.

"Oh look here comes Mariana and Jesus." I observe. Jesus has his arm around Mariana and they were laughing. It really was a sight to behold.

"Hey Mamma" They both chimed as they jumped into the car.

"Hello loves. How was school?" I say smiling to them. They answer with a mix of good, great and okay. I get distracted as they are speaking as my phone sounded.

 _Wyatt asked me over to his house for a few hours and said he would drop me home afterwards._

It was from Callie. I sighed I wanted to speak to her but I guess it would have to wait. It was a Friday after all and they had a later curfew.

 _That's fine Love. Home for dinner though please. Be Safe_.

I texted her back. As I look up Brandon is jumping into the car.

"Hey everyone" He says.

"Alright guys lets head home." I say.

"Where's Callie?" Jude asked.

"She is headed over to Wyatt's for a few hours but she will be back for dinner Bud" I tell him.

We get home and everyone piles out of the car and heads inside.

"Homework before dinner "I call out them. Jude however is waiting for me by the door.

"I didn't get any homework today" He tells me.

"Okay well how about you go get changed them you can help me start dinner. Meet you in the kitchen in 10 minutes?"

"Okay great!" He exclaims as he runs up the stairs. I have learnt that he loves to help in the kitchen. It is one of the times he seems really happy.

We spend the next hour cutting vegetables and making small chit chat about lots of things. How he was going at school and also about Conner. The way he lights up when he talks about Conner. It was so adorable.

"Okay bud how about you go upstairs and play some video games for a while until Mom comes home. "

"Okay Mamma" He smiles wide at me. I know the smile on my face matches his. It's the first time he has called me mamma and in this moment all I can think about is how much I love this boy. He may have only been in our lives for 6 months but he is my son and I would do anything to keep him safe. I cannot wait to tell Stef about this.

I have a beaming smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon and it still there as Stef walks through the door.

A few minutes later I smile as I feel Stef wrap her arms around my waist an put her chin on my shoulder.

"Hey babe" I say as I turn around and kiss her.

"Mm you seem happy tonight" Stef has and I just beam at her.

"Jude called me mamma tonight" I say to her.

"Oh that is wonderful sweetheart." Stef say as she hugs me tighter and lifts me off the ground and spins us around and I laugh. I feel so loved and cherished in this moment.

"I will go change. I will be back down in 10 minutes" She calls as she walks up the stairs. She knows that her uniform and gun makes me uncomfortable.

I hear Stef walking back into the kitchen after a few minutes. I feel her watch me for a minute before speaking.

"Where is everyone?" She asks.

"Well Jude is upstairs playing video games I assume. Jesus went to the skate park with his friends and will be back in a few minutes and Mariana is upstairs skyping with Lexi." I tell her.

"It never ceases to amaze me that you manage to keep track of us all. Where is Callie?"

"She went over to Wyatt's but said she would be back for dinner" I say but I frown when I remember what happened today.

"What's wrong Love?" Stef asks me.

"Timothy came by my office today"

"Oh? What did he have to say?" Stef says trying to keep her tone neutral. Before I have a chance to reply the front door opens and then slams shut. We walk out of the kitchen to see Callie halfway up the stairs already.

"Whoa hold it sweets" Stef says to her.

"What?" Callie practically yells, the attitude oozing from her.

"Watch you attitude please sweets" Stef says sternly and Callie just stares at her. This could become a huge thing if I don't step in.

"Babes why don't you go upstairs and get changed and wash up for dinner. It will be ready in half an hour" I tell her and watch her walk up the stairs not saying anything but giving Stef another glance.

"Lena you can't give her an out every time" Stef says to me.

"Stef you two are as stubborn as each other I didn't want it to become an argument. If I didn't know better I would say she was your daughter you are so much alike" I grin.

"I know love. But something is wrong. I have had this feeling all day and I cannot shake it. I wish she trusted us to tell us what is bothering her." Stef sighs.

"We just have to keep assuring her that we are here to talk to if she needs it. She will come to us when she is ready." I try and reassure her.

"We can only hope Love. How about we go sit on the porch till dinner is ready" Stef says and waits for me to head outside before following me.

"You are so beautiful" Stef whispers into my ear before taking a seat next to me.

"So what did Timothy have to say today?" Stef asks me after a minute.

"Apparently Callie has been withdrawn in class lately but today she got into it with another student and before he had a chance to talk to her after the bell rang she ran out of class."

"Something must have happened. It's not like Callie to lose it over nothing. Well actually it's not like Callie to lose it over anything."

Stef is right Callie doesn't usually show any emotion. Let alone losing her temper. Maybe something is going on.

"Well we will speak to her tonight after dinner. Speaking of which I better go get it out of the oven before it burns". I say standing.

"I guess I'll go get the heathens" Stef laughs.

Everyone comes down and takes a seat. Callie comes in last and sits as far from Stef and I as she can. She has her hoodie pulled over her as if to hide.

"Sweets hoodie off as the table please" Stef says to her and to my relief she does as Stef says. She seems to have calmed down since coming home.

"How was everyone's day?" Stef asks everyone and the table lights up with stories and laughter. Stef has a proud smile and I smile as I watch her talking with our babies. Dinner is nearly over and Callie hasn't gotten involved in any of the table banter. I look at Stef she has noticed as well.

"Callie how was your day?" I ask her

"Uh it was fine" She says back to me keeping her head down. I notice she hasn't eaten much and has spent most of her time pushing the food around on her plate.

"How was Wyatt?"

"He is good, May I be excused please?" She asks me.

"You have hardly eaten anything Love" I say.

"Sorry I guess I'm not really hungry"

"Okay Love just this once." I tell her.

"Can I be excused as well please? I want to go practice for this gig we have next weekend" Brandon says.

"Off you go" Stef tells him with a smile. "Everyone is excused. Momma and I will get the dishes tonight" Stef tells the rest of the kids and they all head off to their evening activities.

Later that night Stef and I make our rounds saying goodnight to the kids. Brandon is practising his keyboard with headphones in. Jesus and Jude are in a big Mario Kart battle.

We head into the girls room.

"What's happening ladies?" I ask.

"I'm just trying to write this code that we have for STEM class" Mariana says only briefly looking up from her laptop.

"We are so proud of you baby" Stef say giving her a hug.

"Mhm Thanks Moms"

We both look at each other and head over to Callie. She has her headphones in writing in her journal at the desk with her back to us.

I lightly touch her arm and my heart breaks as she instantly pulls her arm away and spins towards us. For a second I see a scared little girl before her face and eyes goes blank and she takes her headphones out.

"What's up?" She asks us.

"Take a seat over here next to me sweets" Stef says to her and sits on the bed and pats the space next to her. It takes Callie a moment to decide but walks over and sits next to Stef and I sit on the chair in front of her and take her hands in hers."

"Is everything okay sweetheart? " Stef askes her.

"Uh yea. Why wouldn't it be?" Callie askes carefully.

"Timothy came to see me today about what happening in class. What to tell me what happened?" I ask her. It doesn't go unnoticed by me or Stef that she stiffens and puts her head down.

"Come on Love we can't help if we don't know what is happening." I coax her.

"Nothing is happening it was just a disagreement. " Callie mumbles.

"Disagreement?" Stef questions and Callie just sighs.

"Some girls in my class wouldn't stop talking behind me even after I asked her to be quiet. I know I shouldn't have exploded. I'm sorry it won't happen again." Callie said clearly getting agitated.

"Hey calm down its okay. Next time we just need to stay calm and speak to the teacher Okay love?" I tell her.

"Okay" Callie replied.

"Alright sweets. Not too late to bed okay" Stef says as we all stand up, she tries to give Callie a hug but releases the girl as she realises the hug just makes Callie more uncomfortable.

"Goodnight girls" We both say walking out of the room closing the door.

We both get ready for bed silently and lay down. I turn off the light and lay down as Stef puts her arm around me and I lay my head on her chest and allow myself to relax.

"I love you" I whisper into the darkness.

"I love you too Lena" Stef tells me. I lean up and kiss her before laying my head back on her chest closing my eyes allow sleep to overcome me.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Thanks for all review everyone :)**

 **Once again all comments and feedback is welcome.**

 **Warning self harm triggers in this chapter.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Stef**

I wake up to the sound of the alarm. I roll over and turn it off before it wakes up Lena. I lay here just looking at the ceiling for a moment and I realise I can smell coffee. Seeing as though Lena is still asleep next to me and none of the other kids drink coffee it must only be Callie. I get out of bed and get dressed and head downstairs. I peek around the corner and see Callie sitting at the kitchen window holding a cup of coffee staring out of the window towards the back yard. At this moment she thinks she is all alone and her eyes show the width of her emotions. She looks like a young girl, sad, angry and confused. I can help but feel my heart break for this girl.

I make some noise at the stairs before I walk into the kitchen. I know she would be uncomfortable with showing this side of her so I give her a few moments to compose herself.

"Good morning sweets" I say to her as she turns around to me.

"MM morning Stef" She greets me and I can see that her eyes are blank once again and it scares me how good she is at masking them. I can't help but wonder what makes a child so good at something such as this.

"Have you been up for long?" I ask.

"No only a few minutes before you" Callie tells me but the look of the bags under her eyes she has been up for a while if she got any sleep at all.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and put two pieces of bread in the toaster. We stand in silence for a few minutes waiting for the toaster to put. As it does I'm sure I see Callie flinch slightly but I can't be 100 percent certain. I sit down on the stool next to collie and take a bite of my toast.

"Are you doing anything this afternoon after group?" I ask Callie.

"Well I was going to go around to Wyatt's later in the afternoon." She looks at me a second and then blurts "If that's alright with you and Lena I mean" She looks worried that she didn't ask permission first.

"That sounds great sweets. It's good to get out the house sometimes" I smile at her letting her know that it was okay.

"Yea I guess so"

We sit for a couple of minutes before Lena comes down the stairs.

"MM I knew I could smell coffee. Morning Cal" Lena comes over to me and kissed me on the cheek. "Morning sweetheart" She whispers quietly to me.

"Good morning. I was trying to let you sleep in a bit" I say.

"I could tell you where not in bed my love and then I smelt this wonderful coffee." Lena smiles at me.

"Smooth talker you." I say into her neck as I hug her.

"What the plan for today?" Lena askes us.

"Well I am taking Callie to group at 1pm. We should be back by 2:30pm. After that Callie might be headed out and I will be spending time with my lady." I relay all this information to Lena.

"Sounds like a plan" Lena replies.

All of a sudden we heard a thud come from upstairs and we all look to the ceiling. By the time I have worked out it would have been from Jesus and Jude's room Callie has taken off up the stairs.

I run after here and pause at the door. I see Jude sitting on the floor tangled in his bed sheet with a confused, half asleep look on his face and Callie is kneeled in front of him.

"Are you okay baby?" she asked him.

"Uh yea." Jude replies still half asleep. "I got tangled in my sheets and fell out of bed which woke me up"

"Does anything hurt?" Callie asked him while checking him over. She acts more like a mother to that boy than a sister I think to myself and shake my head.

"Yea I'm okay now" Jude says standing up.

"Okay guys come down stairs from breakfast. We can cook some pancakes" I smile to the pair and now Jesus who puts his head around the corner to check on Jude while still half asleep.

"At least pancakes you can cook without burning" Lena teases me lightly from right behind me.

"You alright Jude?" Lena asked and as Jude heard her voice he lit up.

"Morning Mamma. Stef can I help with the pancakes?" Jude askes me with the hope shimmering in his eyes.

"Absolutely" I say excited as I turn and take Lena's hand and kiss it. "Want to help me as well babes?"

"Absolutely" She copies me.

We head down the stairs and I start getting ingredients out of the cupboard. It's only a few seconds before Jude joins me in the kitchen.

"Get out the frying pan and turn it on Bud" I tell him. Lena grabs the milk out of the fridge and places it on the bench in front of me. "Thanks Love" I tell him.

I have noticed that Callie did not come back down stairs with Lena. I wonder where she got to. I hear the shower turn on and I figure that's her. I look back to the pancake batter I have made and tell Jude it's ready.

"Blue berries or chocolate chip?" I ask Jude and he thinks for minute.

"Blueberries." He decides.

"Good choice my boy" I tell him as Lena get them out of the fridge for us.

Jesus sits down in front of us and pours a cup of orange juice and drinks half the drink in one go. He goes to refill his glass.

"Save some for everyone please. That's the last bottle, I will pick some more up at the store once I have dropped Callie at group".

"Can I go to Emma's tonight?" Jesus askes.

"As long as it's okay with Mamma." I say and Jesus looks to Lena.

"Of course. Curfew is at 11pm remember."

"Awesome thanks" Jesus high fives the air. I slide a couple of pancakes on a plate and slide them over to him. I put the next few pancakes cooked on a plate for Lena and slice up some banana and put them on top.

"We make a great pancake making team don't we Jude" I laugh to him.

"That's because Jude is cooking them. They won't be burnt. Morning Mom" Mariana says entering the room.

"Good morning Miss thing. Also I only burnt pancakes once. I was side-tracked if I remember correctly by someone having a crisis because she couldn't find a top" I say to Marianna.

"Morning Mamma" She says giving Lena a hug.

"Where is Callie? She wasn't in bed. Figured she must have been down here but she isn't."

"I think she is in the bathroom" Lena tells her.

"No that's B. He beat me to the bathroom and wouldn't budge. Said something about having to leave early." Mariana moans.

I shoot Lena a look and she nods and heads off to look for Callie. Group day is always a hard day for Callie and we usually get attitude.

"Sorry Miss thing but its early bird gets the worm or in this case the bathroom" I laugh. "Have some pancakes instead" I pass her a plate.

"Jude come and eat and I will take over cooking." I said and then "NO I won't burn them" I say to the room and everyone laughs.

 **Callie**

I am sitting on the roof. I know if Stef or Lena were to catch me here that would be the end of my secret spot. I love sitting out here, I can see the whole neighbourhood but I am safely hidden behind a raise in the roof of the window. It calming out here. There is nothing and no one out here but me.

I look at my phone and I have been out here for over half an hour. I better head inside before someone catches me.

I have just gotten through the window when someone knocks on the door.

"Come in" I say and watch to see Lena enter the room.

"Sorry I came to find you. Mari said you weren't in the room and it was B in the shower"

"Oh ah… I was just in Jude's room. She must have just left the room as I came back in" I blurt out. Well rather stumble it out.

"Well breakfast is ready. Jude cooked the pancakes so they are good "Lena smiles to me. Her smile reminds me of my mom. I push the thought away because it would be too easy to let them in and I just cannot risk that.

I smile back to her and walk out of the room and down to the kitchen.

Everyone is sitting on the table and the only two seats left for Lena and I are on either side of Stef.

I side down with Stef on one side and Jude on the other. I put my head down and listen to the banter going on around the table.

Stef grabs my hand lightly and rests her hand on my leg. I instantly stiffen but don't release her hand. I see Stef smile softly and I relax a bit. Her hand feels warm on mine. It makes me feel safe and loved. No I cannot feel this. I pull my hand away and wipe it on my pants to try and get rid of the warm feeling Stef had given me.

I finish the pancake and fruit that Stef had put on my plate. I am thankful she hadn't given me much and it registers that she has been paying attention to how much I have been eating.

"I am going to go for a shower and do some studying before group today" I say standing up. I don't ask for permission this time and all but run up the stairs before anyone has the chance to say something.

I grab my towel and some clean clothes and go into the bathroom making sure to lock both doors. I lean against the back of the door and breathe deeply. I turn the shower on and lean under sink and retrieve a little box that I have hidden behind a broken tile.

Opening the box I look at the shiny razor sitting in the middle of the box. I pick it up and stare at it. It funny that something so small can be so beautiful. I sit on the toilet and place the razor to my thigh and slide it across my skin. In that second it feels amazing and nothing else matters and the next second it is gone. I can fell Stef's hand in mine again and I get angry and make a few more cuts.

After I stop the bleeding I clean everything up and replace my box into its hiding spot. I turn the shower on and get in. Letting the water flow of me I feel amazing. I can feel the ache in my thigh and I focus on that. Not on the fact that I will have to see Liam later today.

I finish up and give the room another glance to make sure I have left everything the same as before. As I open the door I see Jude waiting for me outside.

"What's up Jude?"

"Nothing."

"Jude?"  
"Are you okay Cal?"  
"I'm fine."

"Callie I know something is wrong. Please tell me"

"Jude I'm fine I promise. Nothing is wrong. Are you still going to Connors today?" I ask hoping to get his mind off of me.

"Yea Mamma is dropping me off later"

"Mamma?" I balk.

"Oh Lena."

"Right" I mumble. He is calling Lena Mamma now. He will hate me even more now when we get kicked out of this home. I just sigh. Trying to put it out of my mind I sit down at the desk and try and focus on writing this English paper.

All I can focus on is the dull ache in my thigh. I smile to myself. It's my own little secret. It's better than a friend. It makes me feel better when no one else can.

"Sweets you ready for group?" Stef says as she stands in the door way. I am pulled out my thoughts. I have been sitting here few a few hours. I look down the page and see one word 'Family'. I get angry and through my notebook at the wall.

"Yes I'll be at the car." I say and roughly push past her but Stef grabs my hand first.

"What was that sweets?" She asks me looking into my eyes.

"Nothing. Now. Let. Me. Go" I say to her. It comes out as anger but it is the only way to get her to let go. As soon as she releases her grip I run down the car. I can't let her see my tears over something so stupid as this.

I Get into the front seat and roughly wipe away my tears as I see Stef give Lena a kiss goodbye and walk to the car.

I am thankful when she doesn't say anything just turns the car on and we head down the street. After a few minutes she grabs my hand again and looks at me and smiles. This time I let myself feel the warmth of her hand and I gaze out the window. I am so scared of seeing him and I want to feel safe. Stef does that.

After twenty minutes we arrive and I let go of Stef's hand and open the door.

"See you in an hour" I say to her.

"Okay sweets I will be in the back carpark when you're done." Stef says.

I take a deep breath and walk into the building.

I didn't share today again. I don't want to talk to these people. I get up and hang around for a minute and watch Sarah leave and then wait a few minutes that way if Liam picked her up they should have left already.

I walk out and head down the small corridor towards the back carpark. I exhale as I think I am good and Liam is no longer here. I was wrong. He steps out of another doorway and in the corridor. I glance around and can't see the car from here which mean Stef cannot see me either.

"I thought I told you to stay away Callie" Liam sneers at me.

"I have but I have to go to group. It's part of my probation conditions" I say with more confidence than I have. Inside I am terrified.

He roughly pushed me up again the wall one hand on my hip.

"Don't say anything to anyone you little whore or I will make your life a living hell" He whispers.

I just nod to him. I am too scared to do anything else. He lets me go and I slump to the ground. Within seconds he is gone. I take a couple of minutes to compose myself before I go to the car. I lift my shirt and see finger prints on my hips. They are already starting to bruise.

I walk out to Stef and get in the car.

"How did you go love?" Stef askes I and I burst out crying. I couldn't help it and as soon as I started I tried so hard to stop. I look out the window and put the hoodie up over my head to try and tell Stef to not saying.

She takes my hand and starts the car. i focus on the warmth from her hand.

Stef is my safe place.

 **Stef**

I picked Callie up and asked how her group was and she burst out crying. She seemed to get angry with herself almost instant and tried to force herself to stop. She pulled up her hoodie and looked out the window. I knew she was embarrassed.

I take her hand to let her know I am right here and drive home.

Once we get home I turn the engine off and look to Callie. She still hasn't let my hand go but her crying has stopped. She looks as if n nothing has happened.

"Do you want to talk about it sweets?" I ask her and she just shakes her head and lets go of my hand and walks inside.

I follow her inside and see her turn the TV on in the lounge room. I tell her I am head upstairs to find Lena and she just nods. I sigh and walk up the stairs to find my woman.

"You should have seen it Lena all I did was ask her how group went and she lost it."

"I wish she would talk to us" Lena sighed.

"I know me too love"

Just then there was a knock at the door and Callie popped her head into the room.

"Is it still okay if head over to Wyatt's house?" She asks us.

"Of course it is. Are you sure you are okay to go?" Lena askes.

"Yea I'm good. I promise." She says.

"Do you need one of us to drive you?" I ask her getting up.

"Nah Wyatt said he will come pick me up. I will go wait outside for me. Thanks"

"Well if you need to be picked up just call us. Yes? Curfew at 11pm please" I tell her.

"Got it" Callie called out from the hallway.

I listen and hear the front door close and after a few minutes I hear a car pull up and then leave after a min.

"Well it seems we are all alone in this big house. What could we possible do with each other?' I seductively ask Lena.

"I can think of a few things" Lena smiles as I lean over and kiss her.

It had just gone 11 and all the kids where home bar Callie.

We try her phone a few times and it just rings out. After another hour I grab my phone to call Callie again but before I can it rings and I answer.

"Callie?" I answer

"Stef…" I instantly get a horrible feeling. It sounds like she is drunk.

"Callie what's wrong?" As I say this Lena sits up in her chair and gets a worried look on her face.

"I … I can't…Could you…"

"What was that sweetheart? I can't hear you." I say.

"Can you come get me please?" She asks so quietly I can barely make out the words.

"Of course I am getting in the car now. Where are you?"

"I don't know. On the beach somewhere."

"Okay love just stay put and I will come and get you. We love you."

I hang up the phone and stand up.

"Lena can you load up the track my phone app please." I stop for a minute. "I think she is drunk"

"Already doing it" Lena replies. "I will wait here and make some food for her. She hasn't had dinner yet"

"Okay Love I am going now. I shouldn't be too long" I kiss Lena on my way out. "Maybe keep the other kids upstairs when we get home" I say as an afterthought.

"Good idea. Now go get out Baby and bring her home" Lean tells me.

I drive for about 10 minutes and pull into a parking lot on the beach. I can see a fire down on the beach and a group of teenagers hanging around. I see a movement and I turn and see Callie sitting on the ground. Her knees are pulled up and she has one arm wrapped around then and one finger is rubbing the top of her nose.

I walk over to her and kneel in front of her.

"Come on. Let's get you home baby"

"Why?"

"Because it's after midnight and we need to get you to bed" I say to her thinking it an odd question.

"No… Why do you care? About me?"

"Because I love you. You are amazing baby. You are so kind and generous. You care so much about your brother. I cannot imagine not caring about you. You are also a kid. My kid and I love you very much."

"You shouldn't. I'm bad."

"You're not bad sweets I promise. I can't say I'm too happy about this drinking but you're bad. Not at all"

"Can we go home now?" Callie askes her head still down.

"Of course" I say standing up. I reach down to help Callie up off the ground. I have to basically walk her to the car whilst holding her up.

I get her into the back seat .

"I love you" I tell her as I a buckle the seat belt.

By the time we get home she is passed out on the back seat. Lena opens the front door and turns the outside light on.

I walk around the car and open the back door. I unbuckle the seat belt and pick Callie up carefully and I can't help but notice how light she is.

"Take her into our room Stef. That way we can keep an eye on her in case she gets sick and also the other kids won't see her like this." Lena say quietly as I get inside.

"Sounds like a plan" I say as I walk up the stairs.

I place Callie in the middle of the bed as I lean away I realise she has a hold of my shirt and won't let go so I lay down next to her and take her in my arms. She curls into me and takes me hand. Her other hand lets go of my shit and she reaches up with her other hand and rubs the bridge of her nose.

Lena comes into the room and turns off the light and lays down on the other side of Callie.

After a few minutes I speak into the darkness telling Lena all about what Callie said in the park.

After a few minutes Lena leans over and kissed Callie on the forehead.

"Our sweet Callie girl."

I close my eyes and allow sleep to overtake me.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N So I struggled a bit with this chapter. I wrote it and rewrote it a couple of times and I am still not happy with it. I don't want to focus on the whole Liam thing for too long.**

 **Once again any and all feedback and suggests are welcome.**

 **Enjoy the chapter and have an amazing day.**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Callie**

The first thing I am aware of is that the warmth of Stef's hand has gone. They left me. I am all alone again and the pain I feel is burning through my chest. I can't help but sob. I am crying so hard that I can't breathe.

"Love you need to calm down. Its okay. Your Safe"

Lena? I think to myself. It can't be you because you left.

"You need to open your eyes and look at us sweets" This time it was Stef. I calm down enough to open my eyes.

"I thought you left me," I cried. I know I shouldn't cry but I can't help it I really thought they had left me and it hurt so much.

"Why would we leave you sweetheart?" Lena asked me.

"Because I was bad." I blurt out before I can stop it from coming out. Stupid. That is what I am. Keep your mouth shut.

"Oh my sweet sweet girl. We will never leave you. You are our baby. Just like Jude is."

Before I can say anything else I can feel the bile rising in my throat. I jump out and fall over Stef to get off the bed. I land on my bruised hip and I wince but continue into the bathroom. I just make it to the toilet before I am purging my stomach of everything I drank tonight. It burns and I am still crying. I feel someone rubbing my back.

"That's it. You will feel better after, Let it all out sweets"

The back rubbing continues. It feels nice. Like my mom used to do. It helps me calm down.

When I am done throwing up I flush the toilet and sit on the ground next to it. I have stopped crying but my brain is foggy. There is just a haze over everything.

I close my eyes. I am so stupid. Drinking killed my mother and here I am doing it. I bang my head against the wall. I am angry with myself.

"Oh baby. Please don't hurt that pretty head of yours" Stef says to me as puts her hand between my head and the wall and takes my hand. I looks down at our hands and up at Lena who is watching me intently.

"Come on. Lets get you back to bed and I'll go down to the kitchen and get you some water and a painkiller. It will help with the pounding in your head." Lena says as she stands. How did she know about my head? I question myself. Oh the drinking. Dumbass.

I take Lena's hand that she offers and get up off the ground. She pulls me into a hug and I hug her back. I like this feeling.

I walk with Lena back to the bed and sit on the edge and Stef sits next to me and takes my hand again. I guess she knows I am okay with holding her hand.

Lena is back with a glass of water and an aspirin. I drink my water and take the pill. I lie back down and put my arm over my face. Stef and Lena get back in bed on either side of me. I smile to myself and allow myself to feel the love from these two women, just for a few minutes. I tell myself.

"Don't let go," I whisper before closing my eyes.

When I open my eyes again it is sunny outside and Stef is next to me reading a book. She is still holing my hand and is now making soothing strokes with her thumb. She didn't let go. No I can't want this.

I snatch my hand out of hers before I can think about it anymore.

"Well good morning to you too" Stef says as she looks at me from over the book.

"Sorry"

"Its alright Sweets. However we will be having a serious conversation later about last night but for now lets go get some breakfast before its all gone."

I follow Stef into the kitchen and there are two seats left for us at the end of them table so I guess its one less decision I need to make. We sit down and everyone stops talking. The way they are looking at them and I realise that they know what I did. Lena must have told them before I came downstairs. I look to Jude and he wont look back at me. He just keeps eating his breakfast with his head down.

I follow him and begin eating in the awkward silence that has fallen upon the table.

"So how was the party?" Jesus asks me to try and break the silence.

"Jesus" Stef warns him.

"What the hell Callie?" Jude yells at me and I flinch. I did not expect this reaction from him.

"Language young man" Lena tells him.

"Sorry Mamma. But what were you thinking Callie?"

He looks upset. I can see the tears in his eyes and I know what he is thinking about. Our mom.

"I'm sorry Jude."

"Yea I know," he says as he walks up to his room. I get up and follow him.

"I made a mistake Jude."

"Are you trying to get us kicked out of here as well?"

I can't believe he asked me that but before I have time to respond he shouts at me.

"You ruin everything Callie"

I know I do.

I walk out of the room feeling nothing. Just painfully numb. I stand in the hallway and not sure what to do. I look and see the bathroom door is open and I take this opportunity. I lock both doors and retrieve my box.

My body knows the movements of this dance and it doesn't take long before I get my relief.

I look into the mirror and don't even recognise myself. There are dark circles under my eyes and my eyes are dull.

Mom used to say I had a special twinkle in my eye. The system took that from me. I wonder who I would have been if everything had been different. If we had come to this house first. I shake my head and get rid of the thought. No point dreaming about something that can never be.

I look at my phone and I have been in here for nearly an hour. I am surprised that no one has come looking for me. Maybe they have realised I am not worth the hassle. They are probably all downstairs together. As a family. Something I am not part of and that's probably on me. I don't want to get close to them. I don't want to love them. I cant. It makes it too painful when its time to leave. Even they said they didn't want to keep us. Maybe they can still keep Jude. He loves them and I know they love him too.

I clean up the bathroom and head back into our room. I grab my book and put in my headphones I curl up on my bed. I have been sitting here reading the same paragraph over and over and still not knowing a thing I read. I just keep hearing Jude's voice in my head.

I look up and see Stef standing in the doorway watching me. I wonder how long she has been there.

She makes a gesture to me to take out my headphones and I do so.

"Come downstairs please"

Here goes nothing.

 **Lena**

I am waiting in the lounge room for Stef to get Callie and come downstairs. Stef sits down next to me.

They both come into the lounge room. Stef takes a seat next to me and Callie just stands there so I move over and tap the couch between Stef and I. She looks at us and I can see the defiance in her as she sits opposite of us. I hear Stef sigh.

"We need to have a talk about last night Callie."

"I know I made a mistake and I'm sorry. It will never happen again you have my word."

"We understand that you made a mistake. However you broke the rules and there will be a punishment" Stef says in her no nonsense voice.

Callie stiffens at this and instantly her demure changes to one of fear and self-preservation.

"You are safe here Callie." I say as I notice the change in the girl.

"No phone or computer for a week. You will go to school and then straight home. Nowhere else. "Stef tells her. Callie doesn't move and stairs blankly towards us.

"Do you understand sweets?" Stef asks her. Callie just nods.

"Did something happen with Wyatt that made you want to drink?" I look to Callie.

"No"

I can tell her one word answer annoys Stef and I place my hand on her arm.

"Are you sure Love? We are a bit worried about you lately?" The concern showing on my face.

"I said I was sorry ok? I made a bad choice. No one or any thing made me do it." Callie said standing up. The anger was clearly showing on her face now.

"Why are you so angry Callie? Have we done something to make you angry?" Stef stood to meet Callie eyes. Stef took a step closer and put her hands on Callie's shoulders and looks into her eyes.

For a second Callie stared back into Stef's eyes and I her walls lower but instantly went back up as she took a couple of steps back and bumped into the bookcase. Callie winced and put her hand to her hip.

"I'm fine" Callie said in a normal volume this time however the way she said it made me worry instantly. There was no anger anymore there were no emotions in her voice.

"What happened to your hip Callie Girl?" I ask her as I stand up and Stef gives me a confused look and I know she didn't see Callie wince. I look at her and tell her to trust me.

"Nothing. It just hurt when I bumped into the cupboard."

"I seen that love but you only bumped it lightly it shouldn't cause you that much pain."

"Its nothing really."

"Callie…" Stef says and Callie just looks to the ground. She looks as if she is wrestling with something in her mind.

"I... I 'cant. I'm Sorry"

"Please Love. We can't help if you if we don't know what is wrong"

"I'm not aloud to tell anyone"

The way Callie speaks causes me to stop and glance at Stef. She sounded like a little girl who had been told to keep a secret. We needed to play this very carefully.

"Let me see Baby"

Callie just looks at us before raising her shirt up a few inches.

I feel my eyes fill with tears and the clear handprint bruised upon our daughter.

"Who did this to you?" Stef said loudly causing Callie to flinch slightly.

"Baby we need to know who did this to you so we can keep you safe." I tell her gently I move her to the couch and sit on one of her and Stef on the other.

"He will find out I've told someone" My heart is breaking for this girl. Her whole person has changed and she just looks small and frightened right now.

"Who will find out sweets?" I say says quietly just to Callie pretending to make sure that no one can hear us. It does the trick and Callie quietly answers.

"Liam"

 **Stef**

"Liam"

My heart sinks as I can only guess what she is about to tell us.

"Sweets who is Liam?"

"An old foster brother."

"When did this happen?' I ask going into cop mode. I need to know everything there is to know about what happened with this Liam.

Callie lean back into the couch and towards Lena. I smile inwardly seeing this. It has taken some time but she is seeking affection from us even if it is something so small.

"After group on Saturday."

I look over Callie towards Lena. This explains a lot.

"What did he want baby?"

"I can't talk about that."

The more she says that she cannot talk about it the more worried I get.

"Sweets you can tell us anything. Nothing will ever change the way we feel about you or your brother."

I notice Callie looking at my hand and I remember the way holding my hand comforted her in the car. I grab her hand and leave them on my leg. I run my thumb over her hand trying to soothe her as it was visible how distressed she was getting.

"A few weeks ago at group I met this girl. Sarah. I noticed that Liam was picking her up from group so I spoke to her after group one day. She was Liam's new foster sister. I had to warn her but she wouldn't listen to me. " Callie started getting agitated and was trying to stand up.

"Shh Calm down Its okay" Lena soothe her. I kept a hold of her hand and she squeezes it tighter.

"Why did you need to warn her?"

"That Liam is not a nice guy no matter how nice her seems at first." She then seemed to realise how much she was saying and stopped what she was saying.

" He pushed me against a wall and told me to keep my mouth shut and that's how I got the bruises"

I pause for a moment. I need to know what happened but I don't think I want to know.

"Callie. Why isn't Liam a nice guy?"

"A few years ago we were in a pretty good place. The Olmstead's. Liam was their older biological son. At first he is nice and kind he would give us extra snacks and lollies when his parent were around. It was so nice to have someone pay attention to me. He started with light touches at first. Like at dinner he would hold my hand under the table or rub my arm as he stood next to me. It was nice to feel wanted by someone."

Callie is silent for a few moments gathering her thoughts. We both just sit next to her giving her our courage and strength to say what she had to say.

"He tried to kiss me this one day and after I pushed him away he laughed it off as a joke and I believed him. It was a few nights later that his parents were out for the night and Liam was looking after us for the night. He had drunk a few beers from his dad's fridge. He came into my room that night and got on top of my and started kissing me. I could taste the beer on his breath. I told him to stop. I promise I did"

It seems a bit odd that she is promising that she told him to stop. Like I wouldn't believe her.

I grasped her hand tighter and kiss her forehead.

"He… He didn't stop and he …" Callie stopped for a minute silent tears running down her face.

"He forced me to have sex with him. This happened for a few more times until his mom caught us. Liam blamed me for coming onto him. That afternoon Bill picked us up and I got labelled with being sexually volatile" Lena pulled her into her arms and Callie started sobbing. Callie buried her head into Lena's curls and was still holding onto my hand.

I have a new meaning to the word hate and his name is Liam. I will find this fucker and I will do everything in my power to bring him to justice for what he did to my baby.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Sorry about the delay in this update. I am still not 100% happy with this update but wanted to get it out.**

 **I am hoping to have another update in a few days.**

 **Any and all feedback is very welcome.**

 **Have a wonderful day everyone.**

 **Chapter 4**

 **Stef**

We have been sitting on the couch for close to an hour in silence. Everyone in her own thoughts. Callie has finally fallen asleep. The poor girl looks like she hasn't slept in days. I can't imagine what she has been feeling since yesterday. I can't say I am happy that she turned to alcohol instead of to us but I can understand it. This is something that no one at any age should ever have to deal with.

I look over to Lena and she has her eyes closed. The tears have dried on her cheeks. My beautiful wife. She has a love that truly knows no bounds. Her love and compassion are a part of her that I fell in love with.

As I am watching her she opens her eyes and looks at me.

There is sadness in there and it hurts to see it there but I know the same hurt is reflected in my eyes.

"I'll carry her to bed. Then we need to talk." I whisper over Callie to Lena. She nods her acknowledgement.

I let go of Callie's hand and stand up. She squirms and whimpers in her sleep. She snuggles further into Lena and I smile. It really is adorable. I pick Callie up and lift her up. She instantly grabs onto my shirt but doesn't wake up. Lena walks in front of me and motions towards our bedroom while opening the door.

"She will be left alone to sleep in here. I noticed she hasn't been sleeping well" Lena whispers to me as I lay Callie down onto my side of the bed. I go to stand up but Callie wont let go of my shirt.

I think for a moment.

"Love could you get me one of my hoodies please." I ask Lena.

She returns with one of my police hoodies and I put that next to Callie who gently released my shirt.

It works and Callie grabs the jumper and brings it to her face. I smile.

"I used to do that with Brandon when he was a baby. It worked every time." I tell Lena.

I cherish the memory. It makes me wish I had seen Callie and Jude as babies. Lena comes up behind me and leans her chin on my shoulder.

"Our poor baby" Lena said and I could hear the unshed tears in her voice.

"We need to make this official Stef. We can't let anyone hurt them ever again."

"I know Love and I completely agree but first we need to ring bill about Liam. Get that girl out of there."

"We will have him bring over the papers for adoption at the same time."

"Perfect."

I am outside watering the garden just taking a few minutes to clear my brain. Lena is inside making the call to Bill.

I wish I knew how to take this pain away. I wish I could turn back time and save my beautiful girl all this pain.

"I spoke to Bill he can't come out today but he will be around first thing Monday." Lena interrupts my thoughts.

"Mm that's good Love"

"It will be okay Stef. She will be okay"

"I know Love it just makes me angry thinking about what happened to these beautiful kids."

"Me too. We cant change the past but we can do everything we can to change their futures."

"Maybe we can do something fun tonight? As a family."

"I think that sounds amazing

 **Callie**

Just after dinner Stef and Lena called everyone into the lounge room. I choose a single seat away from everyone. I catch Stef watching me but she lets me be. I sigh in relief. I need some distance.

"Okay guys Mamma and I thought we could all use some family time" Stef says to us.

"So what do you all think we should do?" Lena says this time.

"Can we have a movie night?" Jude asks quietly. It makes me happy that he feels safe enough here to ask for things now.

"I think that sounds perfect buddy," Lena tells him.

"We just have to pick a movie now. Anyone got any suggestions?"

"A romantic" Mariana says before everyone else.

"Ugh no way. I don't want to watch a girly movie," Jesus argues.

"What about Pitch Perfect?" Lena asks everyone as she scrolls through movies on Netflix.

"Yes I like that movie" Jude says.

"I am cool with that one" I look over to Brandon as he speaks.

"Jesus? Mariana?"

"Yea I guess I am okay with that," Jesus says surprisingly and Mariana smiles.

"What about you Callie? Is this one okay?"

I just shrug and nod my head. This is the last place I want to be. I just want to be alone in bed.

Lena is sitting against Stef and Jude next to Lena. Brandon is on the other seat and Marianna and Jesus are laying on a matres on the floor.

I wonder if they will notice if I leave after a while. I decide to take my chance. It's about half way through before I make my move. I look around and everyone is too busy watching the movie. I silently slip out of the room and go into my room. I lie down and face the wall. My sleeve rolls up my arm and I look at some of the scars on my arm. I trace my fingers over them. I know every scar. I remember each and every hurt that made me cut my skin. I trace the only scar on my wrist.

I have lots of scars most of which were out of my control. But these ones are different. They are mine. This one is Liam's; it will always be there. It will haunt me as it reminds me daily of my nightmare.

"Callie?"

I jump at the sound of Stef's voice and I instantly pull the blanket over my arms. I wonder how long she was standing there.

"Sorry I was just tired so I thought I would come to bed."

"Do you feel okay Sweets?"

I don't know why but this irritates me. Why do they continue to care?

"I'm fine"

I know it comes out snarky but I cannot help it. I can feel her watching my back.

"If you need anything, come and find us yes?"

"Yea I know"

I think about school tomorrow and I wish I didn't have to go. Everyone is so uptight there. I see the way the other kids look at me. It's the same look I have seen cast my way my entire life. Like I am not good enough. I know they are right. I am not good enough and I never will be.

 **Lena**

Callie went upstairs half way through the movie. I know Stef wanted to go check on her right away but she waited hoping she would come back down stairs. After half an hour and she still hadn't come down Stef headed upstairs.

She was gone for a few minutes but comes back down stairs alone.

"She said she was tired and wanted to go to bed," Stef whispered to me.

"That is understandable she has had a big day emotionally"

"Yes that is true"

I lean back against Stef and continue watching the movie.

The credits roll and I stand up and stretch my back.

"Okay Guys time for bed. School in the morning"

Everyone starts getting up and heading up stairs except for Jude he seems to be hanging around waiting for everyone to leave.

"Is Callie okay?" He asks Stef and I after everyone leaves.

"Yea she is Bud. Just having a hard time at the moment."

Jude nods and looks to the ground for a moment. He looks terribly guilty and I look over to Stef. She notices this too.

"What is it Jude?" Stef looks him in the eye and I sit back down net to Stef.

"I … I may have said something to her this morning."

"Its okay. What did you say?"

"I yelled at her and told her she ruins everything. I was angry at her for what she did and I was worried you were going to send us away because of what Callie did."

"Oh baby why on earth would we send you away for that?"

"It wouldn't be the first time"

I pull Jude to me and hug him tightly.

"We love you and Callie very very much. We would never send you away."

This seems to calm him and he sits up.

"You owe Callie an apology bud. I am sure she will understand."

"I know. I will talk to her in the morning. I'm going to bed now."

"Okay. Mom and I will be up in a minute to say goodnight"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Callie**

I am standing next to the car waiting for everyone to get outside so we can drive to school. I can't believe its Monday again. I hate going to this school. Every day just feels so hard.

I feel the familiar feeling of anxiety bubbling in my chest but I try and push it away. I can't do anything about it anyways. I could always try to explain it to Lena. I am pretty sure I remember someone saying she had a degree in psychology or something like that.

Before I finish thinking that thought I forget it. I don't want them to think I am crazy; Anyways I am sure they wouldn't understand. Hell even I don't understand it.

"Everyone ready? Lets head off then." Lena walks to the drivers' side of the care.

"Have a wonderful day at school my babies" Stef says from the stairs. She must have the day off work today because she isn't in her uniform. I don't think much of it as I turn my thoughts to the day ahead of me. This is going to be a long day. I can feel it.

I get into the far back seat and listen to Marianna and Jesus fight over the front seat.

"Jesus you can sit in the front to school and this afternoon Mariana you get the front on the way home from school. Sound fair?" I watch Lena as she speaks. Her eyes showing nothing but love for her kids. I watch her for a few more moment before looking away.

That would be the last thing I need right now for Lena to catch me watching her.

"Yup" Jesus says jumping into the front seat.

"You only agree because you are in the front first." Mariana argues back as she gets into the middle row next to Brandon.

Lena reverses out of the drive way and I put my headphones in and turn the music up as loud so that I cannot hear anyone.

I lean my head against the window and watch the scenery change before me. Everything around here is so vibrant and beautiful. It makes me feel worse. I can't enjoy the view so I close my eyes.

The car come to a stop and everyone starts jumping out of the car. I take my headphones out and put them in my bag.

"Callie" I hear my name being called just as I get out of the car about to walk away.

"Mm?" I turn around to face Lena.

"If you need anything at all just come to my office okay?"

I just nod towards Lena and walk towards my first class. I can feel Lena watching me walk away but I don't turn around.

The first few classes of the day went by slowly. I have no idea what half of the teachers are talking about and it makes me just tune them out.

I am walking outside to find somewhere to eat my lunch. I spot an empty table next to a tree so it's in the shade. I sit down and open my lunch.

"Your at our table " I look up to see a group of girls standing there.

"No one was here when I sat down."

"Well it's our table so move." A girl I know as Kelsey says to me.

"Ugh fine. Your not worth the argument." I mutter to myself even though I know they can hear it and it's probably not the right thing to say to these girls.

"What did you say to me you bitch" Kelsey snarks at me. Great here we go.

"I just said it wasn't worth the argument. You can have the table. I am leaving" I decide to try and get myself out of trouble instead of making it worse.

Kelsey leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"You should do everyone a favor and just leave. Eventually people are going to realize you're not worth the hassle and get rid of you anyway. You don't belong here and pretending you do is just pathetic."

I don't bother replying. What would I say? Would I deny it and defend myself? What would be the point I know she is right.

I throw my bag over my shoulder and walk down to the beach. I stare at the waves for a moment and start walking away form the school. I can't be here anymore.

 **Lena**

I am sitting in the car at school waiting for Callie to come out of school. Everyone else was here and it was strange that she wasn't here yet. Normally she was the first one to the car. I pick up my phone to text her.

 _~ Where are you? ~_

I get a reply within seconds.

 _~ Decided to walk home. Sorry forgot to tell you. ~_

 _~ Its okay. Next time please tell me first. ~_

 _~ Thanks ~_

"Okay guys Callie is walking home so it's just us this afternoon."

It's about 5pm and I am outside watering the garden. The front door opens Callie walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge and pours herself a glass of juice.

"Come out here for a moment Callie." I call out through the kitchen window and I see Callie jump slightly.

"What's up?" Callie says as she stands next me watching the water hit the ground.

"That was a long walk? Everything okay?"

She looks at me for a second. For a moment I see an emotion in her eyes and I am not sure what it is. As soon as I see it it's gone.

"I walked along the beach home. I just needed to clear my head. Sorry I was gone so long."

"Its okay babes. I completely understand. Next time just check with me first okay?"

"I will"

There are a few minutes of silence and I can tell Callie isn't going to say anymore.

"Make sure you get your homework done before dinner."

"Sure."

I expect Callie to leave right away but she doesn't. She actually leans towards me, not close enough to touch me though. Callie doesn't seek attention and this is a huge step for her. I look down to her and smile. I kiss the top of the head. She smiles back at me but it's a sad smile. There is sadness in her eyes that I haven't noticed before.

"There are my two ladies" Stef announces as she comes outside still fully dressed in her uniform and instantly Callie takes a step away from me and turns around and walks towards Stef.

"Hey sweets. How was school?" Stef asks her.

"It was fine. I thought you had the day off today?"

"No just had a late start Baby"

"I have homework," Callie said as she walked back inside.

"Hey beautiful." Stef cuddles me from behind.

"How was the meeting with Bill this morning? I am sorry I couldn't be there with you."

"I know love. The meeting went well. We have the adoption paperwork to fill out and then we can apply for a court date."

"What about Liam?"

"Well Sarah has been removed from the house. In regards to Liam he was arrested this morning and I am waiting to here back from a friend of mine in the DA's office."

"That's good. I hope we hear back soon."

"Yes. Me too love."

Stef hugs me from behind and put her chin on my shoulder.

"Mamma!" Mariana is calling me from the door.

"Jesus won't get off the phone and I need to call Hayley about dance. He had his hour and now it's my turn."

"Okay Miss thing just a minute." I wait till Mariana has gone inside before turning to Stef.

"Can you finish this for me?"

"Of course my Love" She says taking the hose from me and moving down the garden.

As I head inside to deal with the twins, I walk past Callie who is sitting at the kitchen bench looking down at her phone I touch her arm as I walk past and pretend to not notice her flinch under my touch.

"Jesus five more minutes please. Your sister needs the phone as well. "

"Okay Mama."

"Thank you"

I head upstairs to tell Mariana that he would be off soon. I walked across the hallway to see Jude playing a video game.

"Have you done your homework honey?"

"Yes and I asked Jesus to play the game and he said it was okay" Jude says quickly to assure me he asked first.

"That okay bud. I am starting dinner in half an hour do you want to help me?" I know the answer will be yes. Jude loves being in the kitchen and I know he enjoys the alone time with me.

"Of course. I can come down now if you want?"

"No that's okay. I am going to sit outside with Mom and have a glass of wine first. I will call you when I am ready alright?"

"Okay"

I head back downstairs and grab two glasses and pour a glass of wine. I walk outside to find Stef and Callie sitting on the swing together not saying a word. Callie is on her phone and Stef has her eyes shut with her head back. I stand there quietly watching them wishing I had my phone with me to take a photo. They both looked so relaxed and at peace just being close to one another.

I step out through the door and quietly shut the door as to not frighten either woman.

Stef opens her eyes and looks at me and smiles.

"Mm you brought wine. Thanks babe" She says to me taking the glass. Callie stands and starts walking back inside.

"Where are you going Love? You can stay out here with us." Callie looks at me for a moment and I think she is going to say yes and sit back down.

"It's okay. I should go check on Jude and I have homework to do before dinner."

"That's okay sweets," Stef tells her and I smile and nod at her. I sit down next to Stef and lay my head on her shoulder.

No matter what is happening in our lives in this position I am Happy. Stef has the ability to make anyone feel safe and protected in her arms.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I am so sorry about the delay in this chapter had some things happen in my life which meant i had to focus on that more.

I know this one is short but i am already writing the next chapter.

Enjoy :)

 **Chapter 6**

 **Stef**

I look at my watch and its 1pm already. This day has gone by so slowly. I am sitting in the squad car listening to Mike chatter about something when my phone rings.

I look down to check the caller Id and see that its Lena.

"Hang on Mike Its Lena" I tell him to stop him talking.

"Hey beautiful" I say smiling into the phone.

"Something is wrong with Callie. She skipped class."

I stop smiling getting instantly. I have been so worried about Callie lately.

"What do you mean ?"

"Well I seen Callie's history teacher at lunch and she mentioned that she hopes that Callie starts feeling better. I didn't understand what she meant so I asked her. Apparently Callie skipped class yesterday and today as well."

"Okay Love calm down. We will figure this out. Was this the only class she skipped?" I try and calm Lena down.

"No yesterday she left at lunch and today she hasn't shown up to any classes. "

"Alright. Do you know where she is now ?" I ask Lena. I hope she just hanging out somewhere on school grounds.

"We have looked everywhere at school and cannot find her anywhere and she isn't answering her phone. Stef I am so worried about her."

"I know baby. I am going to get Mike to drop me back at the station and I will track her phone and go pick her up. I will take her home to try and talk to her before everyone comes home."

"I wish I could leave early and help you but I have meetings all afternoon."

"That's alright. I will text you as soon as I find her."

"I Love you Stef."

"Love you too Lena." I hang up the phone and fill Mike in to the situation.

By the time we get back to the station I have got a signal on Callie's phone. She is a few miles down the beach from school the opposite direction from home.

I park as close to the beach as I can and walk down the track the rest of the way.

I don't have to walk long before I see her. I watch her for a few minutes. Her shoulders are slumped and she has her head down. She looks so defeated. It is strange to see so much emotion from her even if it is only through body language.

"Callie" I call out to her from a distance so that I don't startle her. She doesn't move an inch but after a moment lowers her head further.

I sit down next to on the sand and look over at her.

"Are you okay Sweets?" I nudge her knee with mine. Callie answers me with a shrug.

I take her hand in mine and feel her give me a gentle squeeze acknowledge me.

We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm just tired." I get the feeling she isn't talking about sleepy tired.

"What are you tired of my love?"

"Everything I guess."

I feel the tears come to my eyes. Life hasn't been fair to Callie.

"Come here" I say as I pull her into my arms.

"Mamma and I are here for you. We love and care about you so much. Its okay to be tired. Let us take care of you."

"I don't know how." She is sobbing into my arms now. Her whole body is shaking.

"Shh baby. It's okay. I have you. I love you so much."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N** **Thank you everyone for your amazing reviews. Your encouragement blows me away.**

 **Enjoy the chapter.**

 **Chapter 7**

 **Stef**

We are still sitting on the beach an hour later and I have Callie is wrapped up in my arms. I can feel her body slightly shake every now and then but she has stopped crying.

I take my phone out of my pocket to send Lena another message, as I know she would be worried sick. I had sent her a message earlier to let her know I found Callie but that is the last she knows.

 _We are still at the beach. We are about to head home. She looks so broken Lena. I am so worried about her._

I don't have to wait long before Lena replies to me.

 _Bring our baby home. I have moved some things around and I am about to leave early. I sent a group text to the kids that they would have to walk home._

"Callie" I kiss the top of her head. "Lets head home okay ?"

She doesn't reply to me just nods. I stand up and offer my hand to help Callie up.

I put my arm around her and guide her to the car.

I pull into the drive way behind Lena's car and glance over at Callie and she is asleep.

"Cal, Wake up sweets we are home now."

I jump out and walk around to the passenger side and open the door. I undo Callie's seat belt and shake her awake.

"Come on inside Love."

When she looks at me the embarrassment is evident on her face. I watch her as she closes her eyes and takes a minute and when she looks back at me all emotion is gone from them.

We walk inside and Lena wraps Callie in hug the moment she walks through the door.

Callie flinches at Lena's touch but she doesn't move away. I can see how tired Callie is. The emotional rollercoaster having taken its toll.

"Well I think I am ready for a nap. What do you think Sweets?"

Callie just nods.

"I think that sounds amazing. We have a good hour before the other kids get home" Lena says and walks next to me up the stairs. She places a hand on my back and I know whatever we have to deal with later today we will do it together.

I lay down and Callie climbs into the bed and into my arms and Lena lies on the other side of the bed facing us.

"We love you so much Callie girl. It hurts us to see you in so much pain." Lena whispers to Callie.

Callie doesn't say anything but she leans over and kisses Lena on the cheek. It is the most beautiful display of affection I have every seen from Callie and I can feel the tears in my eyes.

I hug her tighter and look over to Lena and see the tears in her eyes too.

"Rest my beautiful beautiful girl."

Its not long before Callie is asleep, Rolling over I grab one of my sweatshirts and give it to Callie and sit up. I look at her and in this moment she looks so small and innocent. I feel my heart swell at the love I have for this girl.

I motion to Lena to follow me out of the room. We head down stairs and I turn the coffee machine on and pour two cups.

Before we sit down I put my cup on the table and hug Lena.

"She looks so broken Lena. I just cant… I wish I knew how to help"

I let the tears come now feeling safe in my wife's arms.

"We love her. We show her how much we care and worry about her. We prove to her that she is worth it."

I cry for a few more minutes before pulling myself together. I need to be Callie's strength right now.

"It amazes me how alike you two are. You have your very own mini me." Lena smiles at me.

"Funny."

I joke back but I do really love the fact.

We drink our coffee for a few moments in silence each gathering our thoughts.

"She said she was tired of everything Lena. She cried for a solid hour. I have never seen such raw emotion from her before."

"I think a good idea would be to ring Dr. Kodema and switch her group therapy with individual sessions."

"I think we would have a pretty hard time convincing Callie of that idea. She hates going to group as it is."

"I know Love but this way she will learn to cope better with things. We need to do what is truly best for her Stef."

"I know sweetheart and you are right."

"Oh really can I have that in writing?" Lena leans over and jokes with me.

"Never" I smirk before kissing her. I smile into her lips.

"I am in so in love with you Lena Elizabeth Adams Foster. They way you care for our children, it takes my breath away."

Just as Lena opens her mouth to say something our bathroom door upstairs slams shut.

I close my eyes for a second.

"She wasn't asleep long. Come on lets go check on her."

"Hang on" Lena stops me from walking away. "I love you with everything that I am."

 **Callie**

I am pacing Stef and Lena's bathroom. The moment I woke up I feel the panic pressing on my chest. I can hardly breathe and my head is pounding.

I know I need to calm down before I make another scene and lets face it there has been too many of those lately. My walls are being broken down and I hate feeling so out of control over my emotions.

It doesn't matter what they say Stef and Lena don't want my drama. If they find out how messed up I really am they will realize I am not worth it doesn't matter how often they say different. There is always a breaking point and I have been burnt too many times.

I lay on the floor; pressing my cheek to the cold tile it calms me slightly. I close my eyes and concentrate on the cold. I can hear a loud ringing noise in my ears and the pounding in my head wont stop.

It takes me a minute before I realize the warmth in my hand.

"Callie you need to calm down and breathe."

"With me honey. Slowly In through your nose and out through your mouth."

I want to lay here and just concentrate on the warmth I feel in my hand but I cant.

I open my eyes and pull my hand from Stef's.

"Please don't," I say as I sit up and move away from them. I can see the hurt in Lena's eyes and I instantly feel bad that I put it there.

"I'm sorry. I .. I mean I am okay now thanks"

I try and apologize but I don't move any close to them.

"There is nothing to be sorry for sweetie we are worried about you." Lena tells me giving me a small smile.

"We love you Sweets"

I want to tell them I love them too but there is a voice in my head they don't really love me. They can't love someone like me.

I just smile and look at the ground.

"Come on. Lets go get some fresh air and sit for a while" Stef stands up. She helps Lena off the ground and then puts her hand out for me but I stand up without taking it.

Lena follows me outside and I sit down on the stairs awhile she sits at the outdoor setting. I know the conversation is coming and I need some space first. Without it I know I will let too much out.

Stef comes out after a few moments she hands me a glass of juice and a tub of strawberry yogurt. I look up her and she winks at me. I love strawberry yogurt but I didn't realize Stef knew that.

"Thanks Stef" I take a sip of the juice. It tastes amazing and I realize just how thirsty I am and drink nearly half the glass.

"Sweets come and sit with us."

Here is it comes, a hundred questions about today. I take a deep breath and sit down.

I look down at my yogurt and try and concentrate on putting as little on the spoon at a time so that I can make it last hoping they will wait to talk till I'm finished.

"Sweets you are not in trouble but we do need to talk about what happened today okay?"

I just nod and keep my head down. I keep eating the yogurt for something to do other than answer. If I were in another home I would have been smacked across the face by now. I have done so many stupid things lately I really don't know why I am not in trouble yet. I should be.

"We need to talk about skipping class. Is there a reason you skipped?" Lena asks me. There is nothing but love in her voice. I am so confused.

"I don't know"

"Come on Love there must be a reason. We cannot fix it if we don't know what is happening"

"You cant fix anything so don't worry about it!" I cant stop it coming out. I have said too much and now they know there is something going on.

I can feel the fog coming over my mind and I know I need to stop it. I cannot have another panic attack now.

I rub the cuts under the material of my pants. After a moment I can feel the familiar ache under my skin and it calms me down enough that I can think.

I look up and they are both looking at me.

"I mean. I don't understand half the classes and I am so behind. It just got too much for me. I was sick of trying and trying and getting nowhere with it. I was just so stressed out over it that's why I went to the beach today."

I don't look them in the eye. It wasn't a completely lie but it wasn't the whole story either. I don't them about what Hayley said. I don't tell them that I don't belong there or the fact that no one wants me there.

"This is something that we can fix sweets. Oh beautiful girl. We are always here to help you. Your Mamma is the best tutor there is." Stef smiled at me but I don't smile back.

'"Love you should have said something earlier before it got to this point. We only want the best for you."

I shake my head to myself. How can they want what is best for me they have only known me a while.

"Yea I know that now." I fake a smile to them. " I'm sorry I should have spoken to you sooner. I am sorry for skipping class. It wont happen again"

Please be done with this.

"We believe you love. Do you want to talk to us about anything else? You know you can talk to us about absolutely anything."

"I know. There is nothing else." A lie. I know it but I hope they don't.

"Can I go now?" Even I can hear the attitude in my voice.

They look at each other but finally they nod.

"We can do some work later okay love?" Lena smiles at me. "Just remember we love you Callie Girl"

"Thanks"

I stand up eager to finish this conversation.

"What happened to your leg sweets?" I have no idea what she is talking about until I look down to my leg. Fuck. My cuts have bled through the bandage.

"Oh nothing I just scrapped it on a stick this morning while I was walking on the beach." The lie comes off my tongue easily.

"Well maybe I should take a look at it and give it a clean. We don't want it to get infected." Stef says to me.

"N0! I mean no its okay I will clean it. Its just a scratch." I can feel the pressure on my chest again.

"Its not a big deal really Love. That's what moms are for." It's Lena this time. They really tag team this mothering thing. The thought makes me smile for a moment.

"No really its okay." I give them another fake smile in hopes to show them I am fine. I don't really wait for them to answer before I walk away.

Half way up the stairs I hear the front door open and the others pile in. I know this will take the attention off me and I can disappear for a few minutes and get some alone time but first I go in to the bathroom to clean my cuts. I can't have this happen again. They were so close to finding out and that can never happen. If I got us kicked out of here as well Jude would never forgive me.

An hour later I am sitting on the roof in my secret spot when Stef climbs out of the window and come and sits with me.

"How did you know I was out here?" I didn't know that anyone knew about this spot. So much for being alone here.

"You really think I wouldn't know where your favorite spot is in the whole house is?" Stef raises her eyebrows at me. I smile at her.

"However " She stops me before I can say anything "Mamma does not know about it and would have a fit if she knew we were out here. So lets make this our little secret yes?" Stef nudges my leg with hers.

I laugh out and nod my head.

"Our secret." I want to be annoyed that she knew where I was whenever I was out here but it just made me feel loved. She cared enough to find out and then to let me stay out here.

"Nice sweatshirt" She says to me and I look down and can feel myself blushing.

"Its okay sweets. Really. I like that you want to wear my shirts. "

I want to say so much to Stef but I don't know how to say what I mean so I just smile at her.

We continue to sit in silence and after a while I lean my head onto Stef's shoulder. She kisses my head and leans her head on mine. Stef takes my hand and intertwines our fingers before bringing our hands up and kissing the back of mine.

"I love you so much baby girl."

"I love you too Stef."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Lena**

Stef and I were sitting outside drinking our morning coffee in a rare moment of silence before everyone goes his or her separate ways for the day. It had been a quiet few days and Callie seemed to be a bit calmer than she had in a few weeks and there had been a lot less attitude, which was nice.

However I had a feeling it was about to change. Stef had just got off the phone with our lawyer and he wants to have a meeting today.

"It will all be okay my love"

I smile to Stef. She knows exactly what to say without me having to voice my thoughts.

"Lets hope so. That girl deserves so much more than what she has gotten in the past."

"I will do everything in my power to get her the justice she deserves Lena."

"I know and I love that about you honey."

After a few more silent minutes there was a commotion upstairs.

"The kids are awake." Stef laughs and stands up and stands in front of me. She leans down and gives me a tender kiss.

"I'll go upstairs and sort that out and you can start breakfast?" She is referring to the argument happening upstairs.

"Deal."

I grab bowls out of the cupboard and put them on the table before getting the assortment of breakfast cereals. I also grab some fruit and the milk from the fridge. No one is downstairs yet so I start making breakfast for Stef and I.

"Marianna was taking too long in the shower apparently and Jesus was banging on the door."

"This happens every morning. You think they would do things differently by now."

"That's a teenager for you Love."

"Morning Mom. Morning Mamma." Brandon comes down the stairs

"Morning baby. Cereal for breakfast this morning and grab some fruit as well." Stef tells him as she takes a seat at the table.

"Thanks Mom"

I bring the two bowls of muesli and fruit over and hand one to Stef and sit down with the other.

"Thank you love. Looks great."

"Why does Mom get her breakfast made for her but I get told to get it myself?" Mariana says walks into the kitchen.

"Because I'm special." Stef smirks and pokes her tongue out.

"Funny Mom" Mariana says but pokes her tongue back out at Stef.

"Here is a bowl miss thing. Come and sit next to your Momma." I tell her.

At that moment Callie walks in and takes a seat next to Stef the same chair she has been sitting in for the last few days. It made me smile even though it may seem like a small gesture. Callie wanting to sit near Stef is a huge step for her.

"Morning Slug a bug. How did you sleep?"

"Not too bad."

Callie just goes back to making her breakfast.

"Hey sweets. Momma and I need to talk to you after breakfast before you head to school okay?"

"Is everything okay?" I can see her eyes instantly cloud over. I wasn't sure what emotion it was but it worried me.

"Everything is fine Love." I assure her.

"Where are Jesus and Jude?" I ask the room.

"I am here now," Jude says running down the stairs. "Jesus is still in the shower."

Jude comes over and gives me a hug and I kiss him on the head.

"Morning baby."

"Morning Mamma."

"Awe do I get a good morning hug Jude?" Stef pouts from the other side of the table.

"Maybe" Jude smiles before walking around and giving Stef a hug too.

I smile as I look around at my family these are the small moments that I will remember forever.

The next half an hour flies by filled with laughter and loud conversation. Everyone tool part except for Callie. She just sat there and watched her spoon as she stirred her cereal. Slowly everyone puts their dishes away and leaves the room to finish getting ready for school.

"Okay everyone 10 minutes and then we are leaving." I call up the stairs and returned to the kitchen.

"So I got a call from the lawyer today Callie … About Liam." Stef said softly and looked at Callie to gauge her reaction. We have been having such a good few days and we didn't want to upset her.

"That's good right? What did they say?"

"Well he is going to come out today for a quick meeting."

"What is it about?"

"Well I'm not sure sweets we will have to wait and find out."

"Okay. When is the meeting? I have school today"

"He will be here at noon."

"Your mom and I thought that I could take you back to school after the meeting. You can spend the morning with Stef as I have to go in for a few hours this morning."

"Guess I don't have a choice then." Callie's walls went shooting up like she was expecting bad news already.

"Come on love we are on your side. "

"Fine. I'm sorry. I will be in my room."

Callie stormed off and ran up the stairs. We waited a moment and hear the slam of her door. On one hand I am grateful she feels safe enough to get angry with us but on the other I was worried about her.

"Take care of our girl Stef. I need to get to work and take the other kids to school. I will see you in a few hours."

"Of course. I will go and talk to her in a few minutes. See you in a few hours babe."

"Okay everyone lets get to school"

 **Stef**

I wait a few minutes before heading upstairs to Callie. I knock on the door and wait for an answer that comes in the form of the door unlocking.

Callie leans against the wall next to the door and slides down it and sits on the floor.

I sit next to her and just sit in silence. I take her hand after a few minutes trying to comfort her.

"Tell me what's on your mind Love."

"I'm scared Stef." It was so quiet I barely heard her.

"What are you scared of baby?"

"That he gets away with it."

"I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen."

"I know."

"Come here sweets" I wrap my arm around Callie and bring her to me. I feel her flinch at first but then allow herself to be comforted.

"We don't even know what is going to happen. Lets see what the lawyer wants to talk about first before we worry about anything okay?"

I feel her nod her head against my chest. I know this must be so hard on her.

"Lets go find something to do. Have any ideas sweets? It's just you and I so it's completely up to you."

"Nothing."

"Okay well I don't mind doing nothing but can we not do it on the floor. My butt is numb."

I get a laugh from Callie with that statement.

"You have a beautiful laugh. I wish we heard it more often. Come on lets go watch some TV."

We have been sitting in the lounge room for a few hours now. I am watching reruns of Full House on Netflix and Callie is lying with her head in my lap while editing photos on her phone while asking my input every now on then. She seems so at peace.

"What do you think of this one mmStef?"

I smile as she almost slipped up and called me mom but I don't mention it to her. I know it would make her uncomfortable. She did say as she wasn't ready and I don't want to rush her or scare her.

"That is a beautiful photo of your mamma. When did you take it?"

"A couple of days ago when she was watering the garden."

"Well I think we should get this photo blown up and hang it up. I love it."

"Its not that good."

"No it really is Callie. You have some amazing talent."

"Thanks."

The front door opens and Callie instantly bolts upright.

"Whoa its just Mamma. She just texted me saying she was home. Its okay love."

She sits back down but doesn't touch me but I can feel the tension radiating from her body.

"Honey I'm home." Lena calls out from the entrance.

"Callie and I are in the lounge room."

"How has your morning been so far?" Lena leans down and gives me a kiss.

"Not too bad hey Callie. We mainly just chilled out down here."

"Yea it was okay."

"Okay well we should have a few minutes before the lawyer gets here. Stef can you put a pot of coffee on and I am going to make some sandwiches for our lunch after the meeting.

"Sure thing Beautiful." I stand up to help Lena in the kitchen. "Do you need anything Callie?"

"Can I have a cup of coffee too?"

There is a hint of playfulness in her eyes.

"Nice try sweets. I don't think mamma would approve of that."

At just that moment Lena walked back out to the lounge room.

"What wouldn't I approve of?"

"Callie would like a cup of coffee as well."

"I was joking!" Callie laughed.

"Mmhmmm I'm sure you were."

Lena looked at us and realized we were playing and she joined in and laughed with us.

I had just finished putting the coffee on as the doorbell rang.

"I will get it."

"Thanks for coming." I say extending my hand to ADA Colbert.

"Just trying to help Stef."

"Lets sit down." Lean guides use to the dinning room and everyone takes their sits however Callie sits one chair away from everyone trying to keep her distance. Her posture is stiff and her eyes are almost void of any emotion. Her walls are sky-high.

"Look here's the truth." Colbert stops and looks at Callie and then Lena and I before putting his down into his files.

"There is no way this case is ever getting in front of a jury. Any judge is going to throw it out as sure as I am sitting here right now. There is no direct evidence and its been what almost two years since it happened."

There was something else he wasn't saying. I glared at him for a second.

"And well its just you, with your record and everything in your file."

He is looking to me now.

"I told you when we first arrested him that this was a long shot."

"On the other hand if the sex with Liam was consensual that would be a different story."

"But it wasn't." I know I am stating the obvious but the urge to defend my baby girl was too strong.

"If it was consensual, based on your age difference that would be statutory rape and Liam might just go to jail for a year. "

"So you're saying no one will believe that he forced me but they will believe I had sex with him because I wanted to and that Liam would go to jail for that?" Callie speaks up now.

"Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying."

"So what happens now?" I have no idea what else to say. I can't let him get away with this.

"Well we will have a court date for a few days time so you have a few days to make up your mind Callie."

Everyone looks to Callie but she doesn't respond verbally but she nods.

"Well thank you so much for coming Colbert."

"I will be ringing you in the next few days with the date."

"Thank you. Let me walk you out."

 **Callie**

I knew this would happen but I let myself believe that maybe this time it would be different. That just this once my file wouldn't follow me.

"I'm so sorry Callie."

What am I meant to say to her?

"Don't worry, It's fine Lena."

Before she can say anything else I stand up and walk out of the room. I don't know what to do. I want to cry and scream and punch something or someone but at the same time I feel like nothing matters at all.

"Callie?"

I ignore the voice and head upstairs. I go into my room and shut the door. I don't bother locking it because Stef and Lena will just use their spare key if they really wanted to.

I lay down on my bed and just stare at the ceiling. After a few minutes I feel the bed dip down and feel Stef grab my hand.

"We will work this out Callie Girl."

I don't say anything to her. I just look at her before looking back at the ceiling.

Without saying anything Stef lays down next to me and we lay there together. I close my eyes and just enjoy the silence. After a few minutes Lena joins us in the room but follows suit and doesn't speak but sits next to Stef and rubs my arm.

The house has been very quiet the last few days, Ever since the lawyer's meeting. I don't think Stef or Lena knows what to say to me. They have asked me what I decided to say but even I don't know.

I am staring at myself in the mirror but I'm not sure I can see myself. I see a stranger staring back at me.

It is the day of the court case. I don't know if I should be nervous or not. I have no idea what I am going to say. I know I will have to see Liam and I am absolutely terrified.

"Here let me do that." Lena has come into the bathroom and I hand her the hairbrush. She does brushing and I prepare myself from the pain of the brush being pulled through knots but it doesn't come.

She doesn't hurt me at all and she reminds me of my mom. I close my eyes and a few tears escape. When I open my eyes I can see Lena searching mine.

"Thank you."

"It was my pleasure my gorgeous girl. We will be downstairs when you are ready.

"You can do this." I tell my reflection before walking downstairs.

It was now or never.

"Callie at the time of the incident how old were you?"

"I had just turned 15."

"You had 'just' turned 15?" I don't know why he using air quotes for this but I just agree.

"Yes"

"And how old was Liam Olmstead at the time of the incident?"

"19"

"How would you describe what happened that night? Would you say it was consensual?"

I look to Stef and Lena one more time before I start.

"I know what you want me to say."

"You want me to say that yes it was consensual that I chose to have sex with Liam. If I say yes we can get him on a technicality. I want him to go to jail believe me. I do. "

I take a deep breath and continue.

"But in order to make that happen I would have to give away the only thing I have left. The truth."

I look over to Liam now and look him in the eye. I need to say this to him.

"You know what you did to me. I know what you did to me. So I'm not going to lie about it. No it was not consensual."

I know Stef and Lena are proud that I told the truth but I cant help feel I let them down.

"In light of Miss Jacobs statement I have no other choice but to dismiss this case for lack of evidence. I am sorry." The judge said and banged his hammer.

I felt defeated and betrayed. The system has failed again. Failed me again. The story of my life.

"Come on sweets. Lets go home."

I let Lena pull me into a hug and we walk down the hall and out the front of the courthouse.

"See you later Callie"

I didn't even have to turn around to know whom the voice belonged to.

"Liam. I just want to say that if I ever see you near my family again I will personally take it upon myself to ruin your life. I will make your life hell." Stef said to Liam saving me having to respond. It was the first time someone had stood up for me and I have to say it felt nice.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

So the chapter is up but I am still not 100% happy with it and may rewrite it again lol. Let me know what you think. Also if you have any ideas on what you would like to read in upcoming chapters let me know!

Thank you all for reading! Enjoy.

 **Chapter 9**

 **Stef**

I had just jumped in the car after picking a few things from the grocery store and before starting the car I lean back and shut my eyes for a minute.

To say the last few days were tough was an understatement. After the verdict everyone was feeling such a wide range of emotions and it was exhausting.

Callie went from absolute silent to full-blown anger in an instant. She had been fighting Lena and I with every thing. Poor Mariana had copped a lot, Callie had even locked her out of their room once but she was handling it well. She was being extremely supporting for everyone.

The boys were all angry but doing their best to help. Jude went through the house cleaning up behind everyone all day. Brandon cooked dinner a few times and Jesus helped by taking Jude out every now and then. He had been teaching him to skateboard and some wrestling moves.

I open my eyes and start the car. I needed to get back so we can make dinner as it was getting late.

As I am getting out of the car I can hear doors slamming and some yelling. I go straight to the kitchen and put the bags on the table before going upstairs to see what is happening.

Lena is sitting on our bed holding a crying Marianna. I was about to ask and Lena nodded her head to the girl's room. I take that as a signal that Callie was in there.

I knock on the door first.

"Callie?"

I wait for a moment before knocking louder after not getting an answer.

"GO AWAY!"

I take that as my answer and enter the room however Callie is not in there. I smile knowing exactly where she is. I had seen her one-day sitting up on the roof on the side of their window. After a while I noticed that is where she went when she wanted to disappear for a while.

I climb out the window and sit next to Callie.

"What's going on sweets?"

"Nothing" She doesn't look at me.

"Come on now. I know something happened. Marianna is really upset. She was crying."

She looks up at me making sure I was telling the truth. I could see remorse in her eyes that she had upset her sister.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"What didn't you mean?"

"I just wanted some space and she wouldn't leave me alone. Always asking if I needed anything or if I was okay. I just lost it."

I wait for her to continue knowing she had more to say.

"I yelled at her that I didn't want or need her help and to leave me alone."

"Oh Baby. Mariana is only trying to help you because she loves you and she is worried about you, we are all. We know what happened at court was a lot to process."

"You don't know what I am feeling." Callie all but spat at me.

"I didn't say that I did sweetheart but I know it was a lot to deal with. We all just want the best for you Callie."

"We know you are hurting but you can't treat everyone like crap sweets."

"I don't mean to…"

"I know baby. That's why we need to talk about things okay?"

"Okay."

"Now I think you owe Mariana an apology and you should give Mamma a hug too. What do you think?"

"Can you come with me?"

"Off course. I'll be right behind you. Just be honest with them. It will be okay."

We get back inside and head into my room. Callie waits at the door till Lena nods at her. Marianna has stopped crying now and way sitting in bed talking with Lena. I smile at them and I get a small sad smile from Mariana. Callie walks over to Marianna's side and I sit on the bed next to Lena.

"I'm really sorry Mari. I didn't mean to upset you. I just feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes with everyone always asking if I need something or if I am okay."

"I'm sorry too Callie. I didn't know I was overwhelming you. I am just worried about you. I will try and give you more space."

"Thanks"

Callie surprises everyone and gives Marianna a hug before standing up and walking around to this side.

"I'm sorry for slamming the door and for swearing Lena." Callie hugs Lena too and while surprised Lena hugs her back.

"Thank you Love. It means a lot that you apologized. We all love you so much Callie Girl."

"Can I go now?" She looks to me and I nod.

"Sure sweets."

I watched her walk out the door and towards their bedroom.

I climb over Lena and lay in-between her and Mariana. Both of them put their heads on my chest and I hug both of them.

 **Lena**

"Who know five kids would produce this much laundry?" I say to Stef as we are sitting on the bed folding laundry. It had been relatively silent in the house tonight after the argument between Callie and Marianna. No one was talking to Callie for fear they would be yelled at too so she had spent the last few hours listening to music alone in her room and Marianna had been glued to Jesus's side as she often did when upset. Jude was spending the night at Conner's and had thankfully missed the whole incident.

"Yes. Who would have known?" Stef laughed back.

We continue folding for a few minutes in silence before there is a smash from the kid's bathroom and a scream. Stef jumps up and I am a few seconds behind her.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Stef says as she makes it to the bathroom.

"I'm so sorry Moms. It was an accident. I was doing my hair and I slipped and the hair brush hit the mirror." Marianna apologizes while crying.

"Hold up Love. There is glass. I don't want you to get cut." She holds her arm up to stop me walking in just as I get to the door.

"Its okay baby we know it was just an accident." I try to calm her down.

I grab the broom from the closet and passed it to Stef and she sweeps a small path so Mariana can walk out.

"I'll clean this up and Momma will clean the cut on your hand. " She says taking her hand and guiding her safely out of the room. I give her a hug and I can tell she feels embarrassed.

"You okay Miss Thing?"

"It just gave me a fright. I feel silly for crying now."

"Don't ever feel silly for crying. You have the right to feel any emotion you want. Now let me have a look at your hand."

"Its okay Momma. I don't think it's too bad."

"Either way Love I will clean it just to check it." I tell her.

I had just finished putting a Band-Aid on Mariana's hand when Stef came back into the room.

"How's your hand baby?" Stef kissed her on the head.

"It wasn't deep."

"That's good. The bathroom is all cleaned up but just be careful incase I missed something. Now I believe there is a tub of ice cream in the freezer with your name on it. I picked it up from the store earlier"

"Thank you Mom!" Marianna got up and headed downstairs to find the ice cream.

I look up at Stef and noticed the worry on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Lena looks what I found in the bathroom." She shows me a small wooden box and opens it. I gasp when I see what it is. A razor blade and a small cloth.

"Where did you find this?"

"There was a broken tile in the kids bathroom room and I knocked it when I was sweeping as I went to pick it up I found this box in the wall behind the tile."

I have dealt with self-harm at the school before but never one of my own kids.

"We need to find out who's it is first Stef."

"I agree. I think we should speak to Callie first." Stef had a point Callie had been dealing with a lot lately.

Stef put the box down and walked over to me and hugged me. I couldn't help but let the tears flow. One of my babies was hurting so bad they wanted to harm themselves.

 **Callie**

I am lying in bed with my headphones in. I have been up here alone for a few hours now. I was happy people were leaving me alone but I still felt bad that I had made them not want to be near me.

I can't help but feel like I'm loosing control. I sigh and try and turn my brain off but it is not working.

My door opens and I see Stef and Lena enter my room.

"Knock much?" I say to them and even I can hear the attitude in my voice.

"Sweets we did knock but didn't get an answer."

"Fine."

Lena stepped forward and spoke this time.

"Mom and I need to speak to you Callie."

I take my headphones out and sit up and look to them. I look at Stef and look down to her hand and I see my hidden box in her hand. I jump up.

"That is mine!" I scream. I can help but feel anger pouring through me.

"Its okay Callie. We just want to help."

"You had no right to touch that its mine!" The panic is in my chest again and I sit back down on my bed. I put my head in my hands and try and fight the tears I feel stinging my eyes.

Someone sits beside me and puts a hand on my shoulder but I instantly move away.

"Don't touch me."

 _So stupid._

The own mind taunts me. I dig my fingernails into my thigh. I need clarity and I need the relief it brings.

Stef is kneeling in front of me now.

"Sweets can you look at me?"

I can't bear to see the look of pity in her eyes. The look I have seen so many times before. It's the moment the foster parents can't take anymore and I am getting sent away.

 _They wont want you now._

I cant help but believe the voice. No one wants a messed up foster kid.

I push harder on my thigh. Stef grabs my hand and holds it but I pull it out of her grip. I wish I could hold on to her but I know it will just hurt more when they send me away.

 _How pathetic, You couldn't even keep this a secret._

I need to get out of here. I feel like I am going to suffocate.

I jump of the bed and try and get out the door but Stef reacts a lot quicker than me and wraps me into a hug. I struggle against her.

"Let me go." I scream at her and I push at her chest. She is stronger than I thought and her hug doesn't break.

"Please, Please just let me go." I am sobbing now. I need to leave.

"Shh Sweets. Let Mamma and I take care of you. Its okay."

I can feel my head starting to swirl and Stef takes this moment to bring us both to the floor. I stop pushing against her and she rocks us back and forth. I feel so safe and comforted in Stef's arms right now.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - Thank you to everyone who left a review! It really means a lot to me.**

 **Once again if you have any ideas let me know!**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Chapter 10**

 **Stef**

Callie and I are still sitting on the floor. I am rocking us back and forth gently while Lena rubs her back and is softly humming. I look down and her eyes are shut, her ear against my chest.

"Can you hear my heart baby?"

"It's beating for you my beautiful girl." I whisper to her and while she doesn't reply I know that she hear me as she tightens her grip on me slightly.

"Callie girl Can you look at us for a minute?"

After a few minutes Callie sits up and look at Lena and I.

"I'm sorry." She says this so quietly that I almost didn't hear her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Love. Nothing at all." Lena tells her and her voice is full with emotion. Love for Callie but sadness and pain as well.

"Promise you will keep Jude?"

"What do you mean Callie?"

"When you send me away. Jude likes it here. He loves you both so much." Callie practically begs us.

"Callie. Look at me." Lena lifts her chin so that Callie is looking into her eyes.

"You are not being sent away. Why would we do that?"

"Everyone does. At some point they realize that I am not worth the trouble."

I pull Callie back to my chest and hold her tight. I look to Lena and ask her silently if we should tell her about our decision. Lena just nods and sits closer and rubs Callie's back again.

"Now you listen to me Sweets. We are not sending you away. In fact Mama and I had something we have been wanting to talk to you about. What would you think about officially becoming an Adams Foster?"

For a moment I am terrified that we scared her. Her body goes tense before relaxing.

"Like… Adopting us?"

"Exactly Love. Mom and I love you and Jude so much we couldn't imagine ever sending you away. What do you think?" Lena says to her.

Callie just nods before bursting into tears again.

"We will take that as a yes sweets! I can't wait to officially be your mom!"

"We haven't asked Jude yet. What do you think he will think?" Lena asks Callie.

"He will be so excited."

"We will ask him tomorrow when he gets home. Maybe afterwards we can all go out for ice cream."

We are all sitting silently knowing what we have to talk about next is going to be hard on everyone but most of all Callie.

"Sweets do you trust me?" I ask her quietly and she nods without hesitation.

"Would you show me?" She knows what I am asking and I can feel the panic run through her body as she starts shaking.

"Everything will be okay. Nothing will change the way we feel about you. I promise."

"No!" She pushes against me and slides across the floor away from me and stands up. She is pacing the length of the room her thoughts clouding her face. I stand up and face her but I don't go any further. I don't think she could handle my touch while her emotions were running wild.

I turn and grab Lena's hand and help her off the ground. As I am doing that Callie scoots around me and runs out the door and straight into the bathroom. She slams the door and I hear the lock turn.

"Callie. You need to unlock the door!" I say to her in a tone that leaves no room for argument.

"No! No! No! Leave me alone." She screams through the door.

"We just want to help Callie."

"Please just leave me alone."

"You and I both know I cannot do that sweets."

I can hear her moving around for a few minutes before she unlocks the door.

I walk in with Lena close behind me. She is sitting on the closed toilet. Head in her hands and I can see her body shaking.

I kneel in front of her and the sight breaks my heart. She looks absolutely broken. Her eyes are dark and she has bags under them and it looks like she hasn't sleep in days. I am mad at myself that I didn't notice before now how much she really was struggling with everything lately.

"I need you to show me baby. I need to make sure they are clean and all ok."

"Fine, but just you." Callie looks me in the eye and I see a look I have seen on her face a few times while talking about Jude. She is trying to protect Lena.

"Sweets…" I start to say but Lena cuts me off.

"Its okay. Honey how about I go and make us some hot chocolate?" I can tell Lena is hurt at this but is trying to do what is best for Callie.

"I love you so much Callie girl."

Lena gives Callie on kiss on her forehead before heading out of the bathroom mouthing an 'I love you' to me.

After Lena leaves Callie seems to relax slightly and after a few minutes' stands up and takes off her pants and shows me the cuts on her thighs. I can't help but feel the tears well at the sight.

I want to tell her I am sorry. Sorry that the world has been so cruel. Sorry that I didn't realize she was hurting so much. Sorry that I couldn't protect her from every hateful person.

I grab the first aid kit and pull a few wipes out. I carefully clean her cuts. I can tell it hurts but she doesn't make a sound or move an inch. After I have finished dressing her cuts. I motion for her to follow me into our room. She sits on the floor with her back against the bed so I sit next to her. I am close enough for her know I am here but not close enough to touch her.

"When did you start?

"A few years ago." She says quietly.

"What happened?"

"You don't want to know that."

"I do Callie. I want to know everything about you. No matter how painful, scary or embarrassing it is."

"I just couldn't handle everything anymore. I was sick of the pain. I was hurting all the time. Everyone told me I was nothing, pathetic and stupid and I started believing it."

"My sweet sweet girl you are none of those things. You are so beautiful and smart. You are the most compassionate person I know regardless of how people have treated you."

I take her hand and she sighs out loud, like she was finally relaxing. She leans against me and puts her head on my shoulder.

"Why didn't you want Mama to be in the room sweets?"

At the mention of Lena I can see the guilt cross her face.

"I don't know."

"I understand how you feel."

Callie looks at me confused.

"I want to protect Lena too. I would do anything to not see her in any pain."

"That's the way I feel about Jude." Callie says to me quietly.

"We are a lot alike kid." I joke with her but we both know how strong the bond is.

"Your mama is one tough lady and she can handle a lot and she also loves you so much and wants to help you. She wants to know everything there is to know about our wonderful amazing Callie."

I hear her chuckle at that just as Lena walks in the room.

"There is a beautiful sound." Lena is carrying two cups of hot chocolate for Callie and I and a cup of tea for herself.

"Now I didn't know whether you wanted some marshmallows on top. Mariana and Brandon love it but Jesus doesn't so I brought some and you can decide."

I stand up and give Lena a kiss and grab my cup of chocolate.

"Thanks Babe."

"No thanks. I don't like marshmallows." Callie says to Lena.

"Neither does Mom." Lena says with a grin and Callie looks over to me.

"That's right! Like I said before we are a lot alike kid." I smile at Callie while taking a sip of my drink.

It really does amaze me that Callie and I are so alike.

 **Callie**

While we were drinking out hot drinks I thought about what Stef has said about wanting to protect Lena. I didn't really know that when I said it I just knew I couldn't let Lena see. I have never told Jude about it either.

"How about some TV?" Stef asks us and I nod my head. I put my cup on the nightstand and sit in the middle of Stef and Lena at the top of the bed with my back on the headboard.

She turns on one of the late night talk shows. No one says anything but every now and then Stef laughs. I find myself smiling at her when she laughs. I look over to Lena and see her smiling at Stef as well. I cuddle into Lena's side and she puts her arm around me and kisses on top of my hair.

After the show finishes Stef turns the TV off but I don't move from Lena's arms.

"Want to sleep in our bed tonight sweets?"

For a moment I think about saying no but I really want to stay here so I just nod my head.

"Go get into your PJ's" Lena tells me and I climb out and walk to my room.

Once I get to my room away from Stef and Lena I regain some of my composure.

I can't believe they know. What am I going to do now? They say they want to adopt me but I bet they are talking right now about ringing Bill. No one would agree to this. They might think they do at first but the more they now the more they will realize I am too much trouble.

"Sweets? You have been in there a while. You okay?"

Great Stef is already at the door. Can't I have five minutes privacy in this fricken house?

"Far out. I'm fine." I say swinging the door open. I know I am being rude but I don't care, I need some distance. It will hurt less when I have to leave.

"I decided to sleep in my own room." I say sitting down on my bed.

"Tonight has been rough sweets. I don't think that is the best idea do you?"

"Actually I do think it's the best idea Stef."

I can see her getting annoyed at my attitude so I keep pushing her.

"Leave please and shut the door I am going to sleep now."

I get into bed and pull the covers over myself and face the wall.

"Fully clothed?"

"Yes."

"Okay then."

I smile when I hear the door shut. Finally I relax my body and think about the night that has happened. I am going to have to be way more secretive with things now.

The door opens ten minutes later and my eyes fly open and I shoot up to see who was there. My heart is beating out of my chest. I see Stef standing there with her pillow and blanket.

"What are you doing?" I ask her trying to mask the panic I felt before I knew it was her.

"Well seeing as you decided to sleep in your own bed. Fully clothed I might add. Mariana is sleeping with Mama and I am sleeping in Marianna's bed here with you."

"I don't need a fucking babysitter." This is pissing me off now. They are acing like I am going to kill myself right here in this room the moment I am alone.

"Language young lady."

I just glare back at her.

"Whether you like it not I am sleeping in this room with you so you can either try and sleep or fight it. I just want to know you are okay sweets."

"Fine. Goodnight."

I flop back down into bed and face the wall again. Stef's jumper is still under my pillow. I want to put it on but I am still angry so I just pretend its not there and shut my eyes and try and fall asleep.

I have been laying here for what feels like hours and I roll over to see if Stef is asleep. She is asleep so I just watch her. The urge to wake her up and climb into bed and hold her hand is almost overwhelming.

I am about to get out of bed to wake her up but I decide to go get a drink instead. I open the door as quietly as I can and step out into the hallway. I see the flash of a TV playing coming from Stef and Lena's room. Before I know it I am walking to the doorway to see who was awake.

"You okay Callie?" Lena is siting up in bed watching TV and Mariana is curled up in the blanket on the other side of the bed.

I hesitate slightly before walking over to her and she slides over to let me sit next to her. She waits for me to start.

"I'm sorry."

"What for love?"

"For making you leave the bathroom earlier. I didn't mean it how it sounded. I just.."

"Its okay baby. Mom explained it to me. I understand. Just remember I am always here for you. With anything you want to tell me."

I cuddle into her and we just lay like this for a few minutes letting the light flashed from the TV dance over our faces.

"You remind me of my mom."

I never thought I would say this aloud but I can't help it. I want her to know how I feel.

"You are so kind and compassionate. You make me feel loved and wanted. I am not used to being wanted."

"I will always want you Callie. I promise. You could never do anything to change that."

"You wont always think that though."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because there is a lot about me you don't know. You don't know what I have done."

"Callie you did what you had to survive. I will say it again nothing you could tell me would make me want you any less."

I take a deep breath and poll up my sleeves and show her my wrists.

"This was the first time I tried to kill myself."

I look at Lena and can see the pain reflected in her eyes. She doesn't say anything and allows me to continue at my own pace.

"I was in a foster home and it was one of the worst ones so far. Every day Jude and I would get home from school and I would tell Jude to lock himself in the bedroom and do his homework with the headphones on."

Lena takes my hand and gives the back of it a kiss. I take a deep breath to try and finish.

"The foster father was a drunk. He would tell me I was useless and good for nothing. It seemed like everything I did was wrong and would make him angry. He made me feel like I was worse than the shit on the bottom of his shoe. One day he said I should just save everyone the pain and kill myself. "

"He laughed at me and told me I couldn't even do that properly. When I got out of the hospital we were placed in another home. No one even cared enough to ask questions to find out what or why."

"Oh my sweet girl." Lena pulls me close and I can hear her crying.

"I care what happened love. I am so happy that you are still here with us. The joy you bring into everyone's lives cannot be replaced. Mom and I love you so much."

I feel exhausted now and I am struggling to keep my eyes open. I look over to the clock and see that it is nearly 3am.

"Close your eyes baby and sleep. I've got you."

I fall asleep almost instantly with only one thought.

Maybe this will work out after all.

Maybe they really are telling the truth.

Just maybe.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

 **I am so sorry about the delay in this update. Had some stuff happen that just took the majority of my time. I had other plans for this chapter but alas it was not to be.**

 **Also I am sorry if this chapter is a bit dark. I haven't been in the best mind frame lately and it is coming out in my writing.**

 **Anyways let me know what you all think.**

 **Thank you all for reading and giving me so much support.**

 **Chapter 11**

 **Lena**

Stef and I are sitting outside eating some lunch and Callie sitting underneath the tree on her phone.

"Relax Stef. She isn't going anywhere."

Stef had not taken her eyes off of Callie since this morning. After our talk late last night Callie fell asleep in bed with me and when Stef woke up to find her not in her bed she got worried.

"I know. I just can't shake this feeling. We should do something as a family this afternoon."

"I think that is a good idea. Jude will be home anytime now and surprisingly all the kids are at home. What do you think about fish and chips on the beach?"

"Junk food?" Stef questions me with a smirk on her face.

"Just this once. We will tell the kids you talked me into it."

"Nuh Uh I am telling them it was all your idea."

I was about to say something back when the back door flew open and Jude ran out.

"Hey my boy" I greet him as he jumps into my lap and I hug him tight.

"How was Connor's?"

"It was great. I am glad to be home though."

"And we are glad you are home. In fact Mom and I wanted to talk with you and Callie."

Stef called Callie over to sit with us.

"What do you think about officially becoming an Adams Foster Jude?"

"Really? You want to adopt us. Callie as well?"

"Of course Jude. We love you and your sister very much. We cannot imagine our lives without you two."

"So what do you think?"

"Yes. I am so excited. Callie can you believe it? We are going to be adopted." Jude fell into Callie's arms. She was cuddling him and there was a smile on her face but it didn't meet her eyes.

"It is amazing Jude. Mom would be so happy for us."

"You think so?" He asked Callie.

"Of course." Callie gave him a cuddle and nudged him off so he could come over to us. He hugged Stef first and then hopped into my lap.

"I am so happy that you agreed. I can't wait for you to officially be part of this family."

"Me too Mama. "

"I will never get tired of hearing that my sweet boy."

"Can I go now?" Callie asked us. Stef nodded and she got up and walked inside.

"I am worried about Callie." Jude said to me.

"I know sweets but Mom and I are trying our very best to do everything we can to help her."

"Okay. I trust you both." He looked me in the eyes and I knew he meant it. After years of it just being the two of them. Jude was finally trusting us to take care of Callie. I was so proud of him.

"You are so amazing Kiddo."

 **Callie**

I don't understand what is going on in my mind. I am so happy that Stef and Lena wants to adopt us but I just have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and it makes me feel agitated all the time.

I head into the lounge room to see if anyone is in here. When I find it empty I sit down and turn on the TV.

"Mind if I join you sweets?" Stef pops through the door. Of course she is coming up check up on me.

"Do what you want. Its your house." I feel bad about using attitude but she doesn't even seem to notice and just sits next to me.

"What are we watching?"

I look at her for a moment and wonder if she even cares.

"The TV." I smirk to myself. Stef just looks at me and raises her eyebrow.

I sigh loudly.

"Modern Family"

"Cool. I like this show as well."

Stef just sits next to me watching the TV. She doesn't ask me anything or even look my way but I feel her getting under my skin. I know she wants to ask me something.

"What do you want?"

It comes out harsher than what I meant but I just go with it.

"Nothing. I just wanted to sit with you for a while sweets."

"Whatever."

I look back to the TV and don't say anything more. I can feel a familiar tingling under my skin. I dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand. It is helping but it's not great. I need more.

I head out of the room without bothering to give any explanation. I head into the bathroom and shut the door. I double-check making sure it's locked.

I remember in this moment that Moms have my box. I stop myself at that thought. When did I start thinking of them as my moms?

No. I can't feel like that. Something will happen I know it will. Something will happen and we will be on our own again.

I look around for something I can use. I find a razor and break it open and take the blades out. I hide the broken plastic under some other rubbish in the bin.

I decide not to cut in my usual spot. I lift up my shirt and turn to the side. I press the blade down on my side. I close my eyes and move my arm and the relief is instant.

I finish up and head out of the bathroom. I feel like I can breathe again. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. The urge to cut deeper is getting stronger and my self control is weakening.

I am about to open my bedroom door when I feel a hand on my shoulder and in an instant I am terrified. My heart stops and my body tenses up and then before I know it the hand is gone. I spin around to see Stef standing there with a confused and worried look on her face.

I open my mouth to say something but I can't think of anything so I just walk into my room and shut the door with Stef still standing out there. It takes her a moment before she is knocking on my door but I just ignore her.

"Sweets? Can I Come in?"

Again I ignore her. I sit on my bed, leaning my back on the wall. I grab my phone and put my headphones in.

"Callie." The voice says from the other side of the door. I turn the music up louder.

I look up when I see her opening my door. She starts to talk to me but I just keep listening to my music. I just want to be left alone and no one understands that.

Stef kneels in front of my and takes my headphones out and I just stare at her with as much annoyance as I can muster.

"Are you okay my sweet girl?"

"I'm fine."

"I am just worried about you sweets. You don't look fine. You looked like you were about to cry earlier and now you are giving me attitude."

"I don't know what else you want me to say Stef. I said I am fine," I say raising my voice. I make a fist and I can feel my fingernails digging into my palm. The pain comforts me but I need to get out of here. I need to get away from the sad looks and pity.

I stand up from my bed and start to walk out of the room.

"Callie. Wait a minute."

"Just leave me alone Stef." I say as I walk down the hallway. I put my headphones back in and drown out her voice.

Please just leave. I lean my head on my knees and ignore her. Hoping she will get the point and leave.

I know there will be consequences for this but right now I just need to get out of here and I don't really care where I go.

I get to the pier and I walk down to the beach. There are a few groups of people down here and I spot Wyatt in one of the groups.

I head over to him and sit down next to him.

"Hey baby. I thought you were busy today."

"I was. Now I'm not. That a problem?" I ask him harshly.

"Nah its cool Callie you know that. "

I look around me for a few minutes to see if Stef had followed me. I start to relax when it had been fifteen minutes and I still hadn't seen her.

Everyone is laughing and for a few minutes I am not thinking. Someone beside me passes me a joint and I am unsure what to do. I had smoked marijuana before but I know Stef is a cop and I know she would be disappointed in me.

That thought annoys me so I take a couple of draws before quickly passing it on. The last thing I need is to be actually caught with it somehow.

I regret my decision right away as I am hit with a moment of panic. Maybe this will be the final straw to make Stef and Lena get rid of me and for a moment I don't know what I feel.

I get up and tell Wyatt I am heading home and that I would text him later. Even if I am not going home I don't want to sit here with everyone. I start walking but I have no idea where I am going.

 **Stef**

I hadn't gone after Callie right away. I knew she needed some space to cool down and I wanted to talk to Lena about what had just happened. I check her cell phone and see that she is at the beach. That is the main place she goes to get away, I think the beach calms her down.

After about half an hour I got into the car and followed the GPS.

I see Callie sitting on the sidewalk facing the beach. I pull in to the parking space beside her and stop the car. She sits so still that I am not even sure she heard me pull up but as I am about to get out the car she stands up and walks over to the car.

She gets into the passenger seat and I can tell she has been crying and I am pretty certain I can sell pot on her. I take her hand but I don't say anything. I just wait for her.

She looks at me and there are tears running down her face.

"I don't think I'm okay Stef."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Thank you all for your awesome reviews.

 **Chapter 12**

 **Stef**

Callie's words kept replaying in my mind. It was just a big step for her to admit that she needed help. She had sat down in the lounge room and hadn't moved since we had gotten home. She was looking down at her phone and almost oblivious to everything and everyone around her. Lena and I had changed her group therapy to one on one sessions and we needed to tell her as her first appointment was in two days.

It had been a few hours since Callie and I had gotten home and Lena had gone out to get a few things for dinner. I was sitting in the kitchen drinking a coffee. I felt that this was far enough to give Callie some space but close enough to listen out for any problems.

When I left them a few minutes ago the boys were playing video games and Mariana was sitting on her phone watching the boys.

I smile where I hear Jesus and Jude trash talking each other over the game. They really sound like brothers.

"Oh my god Jesus Watch it!" Mariana tells Jesus off and the next minute there is a bang and then a crash. I rush into the lounge room and take in the scene.

Jesus is helping Jude up off the ground and a broken lamp on the ground. I look over to Callie and she looks terrified. She wants to run. I can see it in her eyes but I step in front of her first.

"Callie. Stop and look at me sweets. What's wrong?"

"What? I don't know!"

Callie runs up the stairs and slams the door before I can say anything more to her.

"What happened?" I look to the twins and Jude.

"Jude and I were playing video games. We were trash talking a bit and we ended up tussling a bit."

"We are really sorry Mom. We didn't mean to break the lamp. We were just having fun."

"We don't wrestle in the house boys. I need to go up and check on Callie. We will be having a chat about this later but for now please clean this up. No more video games today."

I get up the stairs and open Callie's door. She is sitting in the corner of the room with my hoodie on and up over her head and she was rocking back and forth with her eyes shut. Her breathing is ragged and shallow.

I sit down in front of her and cross my legs. I take her hands in mine and just let her rock. She doesn't pull her hands away and I take that as a good sign.

"Focus on my voice baby. I am right here. I will always be here."

"Deep breaths Callie girl. In and out"

I keep my voice calm and gentle. It seems to soothe her and the rocking slowly subsides.

Callie opens her eyes and looks at me before lowered them to the ground again.

"Don't do that."

She looks up at me again. Waiting for me to explain me.

"Don't feel ashamed of your emotions."

Callie climbs into my lap and I take her in my arms.

"My beautiful little girl."

"I'm not."

"You are too beautiful."

"No, I mean I am not a little girl."

"Oh baby, you will always be my little girl no matter how old you are."

Callie leans her head onto my chest and I scoot us back and I lean again the wall.

"What happened Callie?"

"I don't know."

"Okay well let's start from the beginning."

"I was sitting on the lounge on my phone. Jude and Jesus were playing video games and Mari was on the other side of the lounge on her phone as well."

I wait for her to gather her thoughts before continuing.

"The next minute there was a loud crash. I don't know why but I felt my chest get really heavy and I couldn't breathe. I just got so scared."

"When you feel that come to me or Lena. We will help you through it. Yes?"

"What if you aren't around?"

"Just grab this jumper" I pull my jumper that she is wearing "Put it on and pretend that I am holding you in my arms."

Callie smiles shyly looks to the ground. I can tell she is thinking about something. She seems to have decided and looks up at me.

"Can I show you something?"

"Of course sweets."

Callie gets off me and grabs her phone of the night table. She sits back down in my lap.

She is looking through photos on her phone before showing me a photo she had taken of Jude and Jesus playing the video games. They were looking at each other with big grins on their face.

"This is amazing Callie. You have captured their emotions so well."

She doesn't say anything and I get worried for a minute that I had said something to upset her again.

"I guess I felt guilty."

I am not one hundred percent sure when she is talking about but I encourage her anyway.

"Guilty about what sweets?"

"I haven't been a very good sister lately."

"That is no true Callie."

"No it is. I have messed up. Even Jude said so."

"I'm sure he wouldn't have meant that you weren't being a good sister."

"He told me not to mess this up for us."

"Callie nothing you could possible do would make us wants you any less."

"I know…I just…"

I can see her struggle in trying to put her thoughts into words.

"Callie everyone is allowed to make mistakes. It is a part of life."

I can see her shutting down and not wanting to talk anymore so I just hold her for a few more minutes.

My phones goes off and I pull it out of pocket, which was slightly difficult with Callie on my lap and not willing to move at all.

 _I decided to grab takeout for dinner. Will be home soon. Love you X_

"That was mama. She is getting takeout for dinner and will be home soon."

I smile down at the girl in my lap.

"Besides my butt has gone numb from sitting on the floor too long."

I get a laugh out of her with that and she sits up.

I start to walk out the door but Callie is lingering in the room not really wanting to come downstairs.

"Come on Love. Lets go downstairs."

After a few more moments of hesitation she follows me down the stairs. We go into the kitchen and pour drinks for everyone and take them into the lounge room.

"Mama will be home in a few minutes with dinner. Pick a movie and put it in ready for when she gets back. Where is B?"

"I think he went out earlier Mom."

No sooner had Marianna told me that the front door opens and Brandon walks through.

"Hey B we are in here!" I call out to him.

"Hey Mom. What are we doing?"

"Mama is getting takeaway and we are going to watch a movie all together." Marianna answers for me.

"Cool" He sits down in one of the single chairs.

I sit in the corner seat on the lounge and Callie sits next to me right away. I put my arm around her shoulder and smile at her. She pulls her hoodie over her head and snuggles into me.

I watch as Jude and Mariana talk about which movie to pick.

"Food is here" Jesus yells and gets up before I ever hear Lena pull up.

"When it comes to food that boy can hear a mile away." I laugh to Callie.

"Jude can you go out and help Mama please? Brandon can you please get plates for dinner?"

"Alright."

"Thank you sweets."

Lena walks into the house and I can hear her putting the keys in the bowl near the door. I know she will be taking her shoes off and then coming into the lounge room.

"Hey gorgeous." I tell her.

She leans down and gives me a kiss.

"Sorry I really didn't feel like cooking after all."

"Its okay baby. The kids are all excited about having takeout."

"And I see you are getting some special Callie snuggles."

Lena says as gives Callie a kiss on top of her head.

"Are we doing alright?"

"We are. We had a rough time but we are okay now aren't we Callie?" I tell Lena because Callie doesn't seem up to talking yet.

I mouthed to Lena that I would explain it all to her later.

Jesus and Jude bring the food in and Brandon brings in plates from the kitchen and starts dishing some up for everyone.

"So what movie have we decided on?"

"Yep! The first Harry Potter movie."

"Sounds great. Thank you for dishing out for everyone B."

I take my plate and sit up straighter. I pass Callie's plate to her as well.

"I'm not hungry." She tells me.

"I understand but just eat a little bit okay?"

Callie just nods and starts picking at her food.

Mariana puts the movie on and sits down next to Jesus. Everyone is silent while they are eating.

Callie eats a few mouthfuls and puts her plate up. She has not eaten enough but I will leave it for now. She leans back into me and rubs the bridge of her nose a few times.

After a few minutes I look down and Callie is fast asleep.

I look over to Lena and smile.

"I love you." I mouth to her before looking back to the movie.

I let myself relax in the quiet, as I know we have some big issues to deal with tomorrow that are not going to be easy.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**

 **Okay I am back ! Yay. I am so sorry for the disappearing act but life got hard for a while and needed some time to work stuff out but I am back and ready to do some updating** **J**

 **If some of the dialogue seems a little off I am trying something new in my writing and want to see how it progresses. I want the character of the good doctor (yes name is from another show. Props if you know it :P) to change as our characters get to know her and how their views on her changes. If ya's don't like this or don't think it works please let me know.**

 **Sorry if something isn't quite right. I am no shrink :P**

 **Anyways I would love to hear from you all about what you would like to read or any ideas you have. I have a few ideas for the next few chapters but would love some fresh ideas.**

 **As always any and all comments are welcome.**

 **Enjoy the chapter and Stay Positive!**

 **Chapter 13**

 **Lena**

I take a deep breath and give Stef 's hand a squeeze. It was the day of Callie's first therapy appointment and she wasn't happy about it. Stef gets out of the car and walk around our side. I open Callie's door and Stef undoes her seatbelt.

"Come on Love I know you don't want to go but Mama and I will be with you. It will be okay."

"Whatever."

She gets out and slams the door and leans against the car. Stef takes a deep breathe and I rub her back. I know this calms her and we start to walk into the office building.

She tried to take Callie's hand but she yanks her hand away and mumbles something that sounded a bit like 'don't touch me'. Stef and I ignore it. I know her emotions must be through the roof at the moment and she is trying to cope the only way she knows how.

I sign us in at the reception desk as Stef and Callie take a seat. The receptionist tells me the Doctor will be out shortly.

We had only been waiting a few minutes when a door opens and we are greeted by who I can only assume is the doctor.

"Good Morning Ladies." She holds her hand out to us and Stef stands up and takes her hand.

"I'm Stef and this is my wife Lena."

"That must make you Callie. I'm Dr. Westfall but you can call me Bridget."

Callie doesn't say anything back to her but she doesn't look away from her either.

"Why don't we head into my office and take a seat."

When we enter the room I am impressed to see the room looks very homely. There are a few chairs and a couch, several plants around the room and its painted in a warm chocolate brown. There is a scent in the air that is calming but I cannot pick it.

I watched Callie walk over and sit on the single chair alone.

Lena and I sat together on the lounge and Dr. Westfall took a seat across from us.

"So before we start I want to tell you I have two rules in this room.

I can see that Callie is slightly surprised but does well to hide it.

"First of all this is a lie free zone. That means no little white lies. No lies to spare someone's feelings. We will be honest with each other and ourselves."

She takes a moment to stop and check to see if we were all still with her. Callie nods slightly as do we.

"Secondly I understand that some things are hard to talk about. Each session you get two passes. If you are not ready to answer or talk about a subject just use your pass. However you cannot pass the topic a second time. How do you feel about that Callie?"

"Okay I guess."

"Great. Now I have a couple of important questions that I need you to answer honestly. Keep in mind the first rule."

She looks at Callie briefly before continuing.

"Have you ever felt suicidal?"

Callie looks down and the ground and mumbles.

"Yes."

"What about right now?" She is writing a few notes but I am more focused on watching Callie's reaction to answering this question.

"No."

"You did great. Thank you Callie." Dr. Westfall praises Callie and smiles at her. Callie's smiles back and I sigh a breath of relief. I was glad to see some sign of a relationship forming even if it was only a smile.

"I received your files from your last doctor Callie." Dr. Westfall says sitting in front of us and I can instantly see the defeat in Callie's body language.

"However I have not read them nor will I." Callie snaps her head up to meet the doctor's eyes.

"I want to get to know you from you, not your file. All I know about you right now is what your Moms have told me."

"Shrinks don't want to know you. They want to fix you so they can make whoever is in charge happy." Callie says in disbelief.

"I understand that is how a lot of doctors treat foster kids but I assure you I am not like that. I want to be your friend as well."

Callie makes a noise and shakes her head and I know from the look her face she won't be saying anything more for the moment and apparently Dr. Westfall notices that too and focuses her attention onto Lena and I.

"So Mom's how about you tell me a bit about your other kids?"

Stef nods towards me and I take it as my sign to start talking. I know Stef is not a big talker either. Each day we realize more and more how akin Callie and Stef are. They really could be mother and daughter.

"Well we also have Callie's younger brother Jude. When we first took Callie in we didn't know she had a brother. It wasn't till the next day when Callie and Brandon left school to go get Jude. That night we took both Callie and Jude home together."

"How old is Jude?"

"He is 14."

Callie watches her write down a few notes but looks away before she is finished.

"I understand you have fostered other kids as well as Callie and Jude?"

"Yes we have. The twins. We actually adopted them after fostering them for a few years time. Marianna and Jesus."

"Lena said you also have a biological son Stef?"

"Yes Brandon. I was married to his father before I met Lena."

"Big family. The food bill must be huge with that many teens in the house."

"We wouldn't have it any other way."

"I know we talked a bit on the phone Lena about what has been happening and I have put together a starting plan. I think we should start off with sessions twice a week. Perhaps Monday and Friday after school. How does that sound Callie?"

"Like exactly how I want to spend my afternoons."

"Now Callie I want you to remember our agreement earlier. Always be honest with everyone and ourselves. I understand this is not where you would like to spend your time but be honest and allow yourself to feel the emotion."

"Well then I think it sounds like crap but I don't really get a choice now do I?"

"Great. Thank you for your honesty Callie. Although I hope once we get to know each other a bit better you wont feel this way anymore."

"Alright before we finish for today I have a small quiz for you to complete Callie. I want you to take your time and answer the questions honestly. While you are doing that I am going to speak to your moms for a minute alright?"

I am slightly surprised that Callie stands and takes the paper from Dr. Westfall without any attitude. She guides Callie out to a desk in the reception area with a promise we will meet her out there in a few minutes.

"So I understand you have a few questions you would like to discuss."

"Yes we do. We are just wondering how to deal with the self-harm. We have fostered kids from troubled backgrounds before but we have never dealt with self-harm before."

"Well from what you have told me and what I have seen from Callie today she is not trying to kill herself but to get herself through hard times. It is a coping mechanism. As we get to know each other better we will work on adopting healthier mechanisms but it takes time."

"What do we do for now?"

"The worst thing we can do it to try and force her to stop when she isn't ready. It will make her hide it or try something else. That is where it can become dangerous. The most important thing is to be there for her when she does self-harm. Comfort her and let her know she is loved and cared for."

"That we can certainly do. Thank you so much for today Bridget I know you got us in such short notice."

"Anything I can do to help. Here are my cards and my numbers are on there. I am available at any time."

We walk out of the office and Callie stands up instantly and walks over to the door to leave.

"I will see you on Friday Callie. Here is my card my number is on there if you need to talk before then."

Callie takes her card and shoves it in her pocket without even looking at it.

"Thank you again Bridget. See you on Friday."

We walk to the car in silence. Callie keeps her distance from us and sits in the far back of the car.

"Do you want to get a drink before we head home? Maybe we could stop at a coffee shop as a special treat?" Stef asked her as we left the parking lot.

"No. "

"Are you sure Love?"

I turn around to look at Callie who has already put her earphones in and is staring out the window.

"It's okay Stef. I know this was hard on her but it's for the best."

"I know. Its just hard to see her throw back up her walls."

"We will just break them down again."

"Yes we will."

We get home and the car had barely stopped as Callie was climbing out. She is waiting by the front door for me to unlock it. Her headphones are still in. I open the front door and Callie goes straight up the stairs and slams her door shut and I am glad the other kids are at school right now.

Stef comes in behind me and hugs me.

"This is hard."

"I know it is sweetheart. One day at a time."


	14. Writers Block Is Real!

**Update**

The writers block is real !

I know it has been a while since the last update and I just wanted to tell you that it IS coming. I am about halfway done but the writers block is having its way with me. I know where I would like the story to go but am having trouble getting there.

I would love to hear any ideas that anyone has.

Thank you to each and every person who has reviewed or pm'd me. I treasure every single one :)

Stay Positive!


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N**

I am so sorry about my absence from this story. I hope to update more regularly now that things have started to settle down a bit.

Please feel free to send me ideas and comments as it all helps write this story.

I thank each and everyone of you for reviewing and in boxing me. It means the world to me.

Enjoy the chapter and Stay Positive.

 **Callie**

I have been sitting alone in my room listening to music for over an hour now and I feel lonely. I want to go downstairs and see what Stef is doing but I know I gave a lot of attitude earlier and done really want to face them.

I pick up my phone instead and start looking through my photos to find one to edit. I stop at one of Stef and Lena. They are smiling at each other and you can tell they really love each other. I slide over to the next photo and its Lena and Mariana. Lena is looking at her just how a mom looks at her daughter. It makes me miss my mom and I turn the phone off and throw it onto the bed.

I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling. I feel so tired. Tired of fighting to be okay every minute of the day.

There is a knock at my door and I sigh. I roll over to face the wall and shut my eyes. Maybe I can pretend to be asleep.

The person on the other side of the side who I can only guess would be Stef knocks again.

The door opens and I instantly know it is Stef. I can feel her standing in the doorway for a few seconds.

She sits down on the bed and leans herself against the bed head.

"How did you know I was awake Stef?"

"How did you know it was me?"

I roll over and look at her. She doesn't seem angry with me or even slightly annoyed. I don't say anything for a few minutes. I am debating whether I should tell her.

"Your footsteps."

"My footsteps?" She questions and I can tell she is confused. I realize she hadn't expected an answer.

"Everyone sounds different when they walk."

"You can tell who is who just by listening to footsteps?"

I just nod. Stef actually seems surprised by this.

"Survival instinct I guess. Knowing who it was before they got to me gave me an advantage sometimes."

"You really are amazing Callie."

I can't help but snuggle into Stef put my arm over her stomach and I bury my head into her side.

I am annoyed at myself for seeking her comfort but I try and push the nagging thoughts away.

"My Callie girl."

I don't need to say anything back to her as I lay in her arms. There is nowhere I feel safer than here in her arms. I can't wait till we are adopted. If we even get adopted. They will figure it out soon that I am not worth the trouble.

"Where did you go just now sweets?"

I just shake me head. I don't want to voice my thoughts. If they are only in my head I can push them away but what if I say them aloud and Stef agrees. That would kill me.

"Would you um…tell me a story?"

"Any time my love. What type of story would you like?"

"I don't know. Anything I guess."

"Alright. Well this story happened while I was trying to win the affections of your mama."

I smile at her. Her face lights up as she starts telling the story.

"We had known each other for a few weeks and she was simply the most amazing woman I had ever met in my life. I had asked her out a few times but with no luck. I knew I had to make a grand gesture. You know. Like in the movies."

I can't help but laugh. I can totally see Stef holding a boom box over her head in the middle of the night signing to Lena.

I close my eyes and listen to her voice telling the story. I want to pay attention but I am so tired all of a sudden. I feel Stef kiss my hair and lightly stroke me back but she keeps talking.

It feels like moments before I am shaken awake. For a moment I have no idea where I am or who with and I jolt up slamming my back into the wall. I wince in pain but it's forgotten instantly.

"Hey Shh Its just me."

I start at her. Its just Stef I keep telling myself but my heart feels like it's beating out of my chest and I cant slow it down. I can't catch my breath.

Stef takes my hand. I try and concentrate on the warmth but I can't. I pull my hand from hers and put my hands to my head and shut my eyes.

"Sweets I need you to listen to me. Okay?"

She takes my hand again and puts it on her chest.

"Breathe with me baby."

I focus of her voice and breathe in and out. I am surprised when I feel myself start to calm down. I can feel the weight lift of my chest and I am filled with embarrassment. I can feel the shame burning my cheeks as I jump up and run out of the room.

I get into the bathroom and slam the door, locking it behind me. I lock the other door as well.

I sit on the edge of the bathtub trying to work out what the fuck just happened.

This always happens. They get under my skin. I care about them and I think they care about me. I allow myself to hope that this time it will be different. It's never real. I am so scared that one day Stef wont be real. That she will be just like everyone else.

I don't think I could handle Stef being like everyone else. I have had to stop myself accidently calling her mom a few times now. I know they want to adopt us now but what happens when they finally work out that I am just not worth it. I am pretty sure that would kill me.

I drop down to the floor and punch the tiles next to me.

"Callie? Are you okay?"

"GO AWAY!" I scream to the door. I feel the tears stinging my eyes. I want nothing more than to let her in, but I have to stop this now. It wont hurt as much when the time comes.

"I need to know that you are okay Callie. Please"

"I'm fine. Please leave me alone."

Please please just accept this and go away.

"I will wait downstairs for you." She says after a few minutes. I know this means she wants to talk to me when I get out.

I listen to her walk downstairs before I allow myself to work out what I am going to do.

I hear the front door open and the others yelling out that they were home. Jude!.

I get up and splash some water on my face, making myself look decent. Before heading off downstairs.


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N *gasps* i know i am finally updating this story :) My muse is finally back and surprisingly took this story in a different direction than i was planning but bare with me.**

 **I hope everyone is doing good.**

 **Enjoy the chapter and Stay Positive !**

 **Stef**

I was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Callie to come out of the bathroom when the front door flys open. Jude runs though t he door to me already telling me a story about his day. Lena comes out of the lounge room to greet the kids.

I hear Callie walk down the stairs behind me and stands next to me. I can tell she is waiting for Jude to finish talking and speak to her. Jude is too involeved in his animated storytelling. After a few moments she looks to the ground before walking away into the kitchen. I look over to Lena and she knows what I am trying to tell her.

"Okay guys how about we move out of the doorway. Does anyone have homework?" Lena asks the kids.

"Ugh yes Momma" Jesus whined.

"Yes I'm going to grab a drink and then head upstairs." Marianna chimed in.

"Good girl." Lena smile to Mari and gives her a kiss of the forehead. "What about you buddy?" She asked Jude whilst giving him a hug.

"Yes I have a story to write for English." Jude says.

"Well let me know if you need any help okay?"

"Yes mamma." He says giving Lena another hug.

Lena hugs him tighter.

I walked into the kitchen looking for Callie, but didn't find her. The glass door was slightly ajar so I take it she went out there. I walked at and looked over to see her sitting against the tree. Hoodie pulled over her head, earphones playing music loudly drowning out all other sounds.

I really did need to talk to her about the loud music. I don't want it to hurt her ears.

I sit down next to her and lean my head back against the tree and close my eyes. Without opening my eyes I take Callies hand in mine. She doesn't resist me in fact she slightly leans her body towards mine.

I wait a couple of minutes to let her relax. I lean over and take one of the ear buds carefully out of her ear.

"I love you sweets." I tell her, knowing she needed to hear it, Even if she didn't realize it herself.

"I know." Callie stops and looks to me. "I love you too."

She says it so sincerely it breaks my heart to think anyone could hurt this beautiful little girl.

At that moment Callie did something that shocked me. She turned herself around and laid her head in my lap. Her body spread along the grass. I put my hands and run them through her hair stroking it softly.

I start humming quietly and Callie shuts her eyes. Her body starts relaxing and her breathing starts to even out. I keep stroking her hair not wanting to disturb this peaceful moment.

We had been sitting and laying here for about ten minutes before I decided to ask Callie if anything happened in the bathroom earlier. I needed to know.

"Callie? Sweets?" I softly call her. "I'm sorry but I need to ask you…" I didn't even get the question out before she tensed up and sat up to face me.

"I didn't do anything." There is a note of anger in her tone. In almost a split second the anger was gone and was replace by a cold emotionless tone. "Not that I would tell you if I did."

She meant to hurt me and the satisfaction was clear on her face when she realized she had hit her mark.

"I know you are hurting Callie but we are on the same team. I promise. I only want to be safe."

She looks up and meets my eyes for a second before looking away instantly. She needed to gauge my reaction.

"Whatever." I can tell Callie is done with this conversation. I wish I knew what she was thinking right now. She looks so closed off to me now. I want to take her hand again but I having a feeling that it wouldn't be welcome right now.

Lena comes out the backdoor and walks over to use.

"How are my two ladies, Is everything okay?" She asks us.

"Yea fine." Callie says she gets up before just walking away.

I sigh and get up off the ground. I take Lena in my arms.

"I am so worried about her." Lena says quietly.

"Me too Love me too."

We stand there hugging each other until we hear someone come out the glass door, thinking it was Callie I turn around to see Jude standing there with a worried look on his face.

"Moms Callie just left, She wouldn't even talk to me and then slammed the front door." There are tears forming in his eyes.

"Come here baby." Lena opens her arms in invitation.

He walks over and we both wrap him up in our arms.

"I am just so worried about her. I have never seen her act like this before."

"She is just trying to deal with a lot at the moment Jude. Mom and I are doing everything we can to help her." Lena tells him.

We decide to let Callie have her space but we will be addressing this when she gets home.

The house was quiet for a few hours, Marianna doing her homework up in her room and Lena was helping Jude and Jesus at the kitchen table when Callie walks in the front door.

She starts running up the stairs as I walk into the stairwell.

"Callie. Please come into the lounge room."

She flung her head back and groaned but eventually turned around and followed me. If I weren't so worried I may have laughed. It just sounded so typical coming from a teenager.

Lena had already walked into the lounge room as I came back in. I sat down next to her leaving Callie to the single chair next to us. The couch across from us had the load of clean washing there ready to fold and put away.

I take a moment and a few deep breaths before I started talking.

"I know you were upset and angry but Callie you cannot just leave the house whenever you like."

"Far out I just went for a walk, Chill out."

"That may be so but you know we have rules. One of which is letting Momma or me know where you are going."

Callie didn't say anything but just glared as us. I watch her and I feel something is wrong with this picture. I look closer and I look into her eyes. Finding it odd that Callie actually made eye contact with me.

"What have you taken Callie?' I ask her and I see the tiniest flinch ripple through her body.

"What are you accusing me of Stef?"

"Callie that is enough of the attitude please. We are just concerned about you." Lena said to her wanting to stop an impending argument between Callie and Stef.

"Well don't, okay. I just want to be left alone for fuck sake."

"Callie." I warn her.

"I'm going to my room."

Just like that she has left the room leaving Lena and I behind to wonder what the hell that just was.


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N - This is a super short update as I wanted to get something out for you all. I have written the next chapter a few times and nothing is really working. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas of what they want to see let me know I would really appreciate it.**

 **Stay Positive and enjoy the chapter.**

 **Callie**

I slammed my bedroom door and leant against it for a minute and taking a deep breath. I walk over to my bed, throw my bag on it and take the packet of cigarettes I had hidden in there. I climbed out the window and took my seat in my usual spot. I retrieve the lighter from its hiding place and light the cigarette.

I inhaled deep and allowed the nicotine to enter my lungs, relaxing in that moment. I haven't smoked since juvie but I just needed something else today. I sat there watching the world. It all seems so peaceful from up here. I wish I could stay here forever.

I had another cigarette before climbing back inside. Sitting on my bed I look around the room and sigh.

I had only been back inside for a few minutes before there was a knock at the door, and I really hope that it's not Stef. I am so scared that the next time I look at her I will break down. She gives me this look like she can see all of me, deep inside my soul. The look is love and understanding I feel so close and one more look could do me in.

She can bring down all my walls, I cant let that happen. Something will happen. It always happens and I will be on my own again. Where would I be there if I needed her and she was not there.

"What!?' I yell at the door

"Callie?" Shit it's Lena. I don't say anything back to her and the door opens.

"It's dinner time. love"

"Thanks but I'm not hungry."

She walks over softly sitting down onto my bed and looks at me.

"Can you come just eat a little please?"

I don't move but just watch her. I watch the emotion's run across her face and her body language.

"Just have a little, for me Callie?"

I don't want her to be upset but I don't know what to say so I just shrug.

"Come on slug a bug"

She stands up and after a second I get up as well. We walk silently down the stairs to the kitchen. Everyone was already here and clear they were waiting for me and I can feel the shame reddening my cheeks.

I look around to find my seat and I am not surprised when the only free chair is next to Stef. I take a deep breath and sit down next to her.

The next second there is a flurry of movement as everyone tries to grab something to put on their plate. I put my head down and look at my hands in my lap.

Stef reaches down and grabs my hand stopping them fidgeting. She squeezes my hand and places our hands on her leg. She doesn't look at me or even say anything to me but continues to keep talking with everyone whilst putting food on both of our plates one handed.

I watch her as she does this and notice that she only puts a little on my plate.

I look at her while she is looking away. I want to be angry, I need to be angry but I'm not. I feel safe and loved.

 _It wont last, you'll just end up alone again._

My mind taunts me. I look down to my hand in Stef's and I can feel the panic rising in my chest.

I rip my hand out of hers nearly falling off the chair in the process. I use it to my advantage and just go with it and stand up.

"I said I wasn't hungry!" I yell at Stef storming out of the room.

 _Good girl_

I feel satisfied that I managed to get my distance, but deep down there is a twinge of panic that I have upset them. Again.


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N**

 **I am SO SO sorry for my absence. I havent even been keeping up with anyone of you wonderful writers stories and for that i am truely sorry. So expect some reviews from in the following days! So a bit of an update - in the last 6 months life has been rough. I lost my job and went through alot of stuff that resulted in a failed suicide attempt which ended me in a hospital stay and a change of medication. However the last 4 weeks i have been doing my very best. I am back seeing my pyscologist and also no longer smoking weed or drinking ( 2 weeks clean now). So I guess the only place from here is up :) I do apologize in advance if this chapter sucks as it is literally the first thing i have written in over 6 months and I'm a bit rusty. Also i would love to read any ideas anyone has for this story! I am hopeing to start working into the part of Callies story where she starts to trust her moms and leans on them more. However this doesnt mean it will be all easy :P Enjoy**

 **Stef**

"Callie?" I knock quietly on the door. It has been a few hours since she left the dining room and we thought it best to let her cool down a bit.

I can hear her quiet sniffle that usually I find absolutely adorable but tonight it breaks my heart.

I open the door after a few moments of no reply. She is laying on her on her bed with her back to the door. I can see the slow rising of her chest and the slight hiccup aftermath of crying.

"Oh baby" I lay next to her and put my arm over her shoulder and cuddle her as I do this she erupts into more sobbing her whole body shuddering. I hug her tightly and much to my surprise she turns around and buries her head into my shoulder.

"Moms got you sweetheart its okay," I coo into her hair kissing her hair again and again.

It's been ten minutes before she calms down enough that I release her enough to lift her chin to meet her eyes.

She looks me in the eye for a couple of seconds before putting her head down and her sobs start again. She tries to talk but it is muffled by her sobs and the fact she has her head buryied into me.

"What was that beautiful?"

"I'm sorry," she stutters out.

"Oh baby you have nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all. I promise you."

"Can you tell me what is going on in that beautiful head of yours sweet girl?"

"I'm just so scared."

"Scared of what baby?"

"Scared you won't want me anymore."

I slid us into a sitting position in the bed.

"Look at me Callie"

She lifts her head but doesn't meet my eyes.

"I know I have said this before but I am going to tell you again, and I will continue to tell you this until you believe it okay? There is nothing. Absolutely nothing that you could do that would make Mamma or me not want you as our daughter. We love you more than you could ever know Callie."

Callie leans back into me and tightens her grip.

"I love you Callie and whether I birthed you or not you are my daughter."

"Sometimes I…"

I don't say anything but I just let her gather her thoughts.

"Sometimes I don't understand my own thoughts."

"Can you explain that a bit more sweets? I want to understand"

Callie pulls herself from my arms and sits against the wall, pulling her knees to her and leans her head on top of her knees.

"I don't know how to explain it to you though. I really want to" She says and I can tell that not being able to explain is causing her some distress.

"Well it just so happens that I know someone who can help us with explaining things."

Callie looks up and me and I smile at her.

"Your Mamma is a very smart lady you know." I wink at her and I see the hint of a smile on her face.

"You didn't eat any of your dinner earlier and I guess you must be quiet hungry by now?"

I don't get a reply but then again I didn't expect one but she nods.

"Alright how about you and I head downstairs and have a little something to eat and find Mamma. How does that sound sweets?"

"Okay"

I stand up and wait for Callie to follow. I put my arm around her and guide her down the stairs. The house is quiet bar the sound of the TV playing a movie in the lounge room and the occasionally laughter.

Callie sits and the dinning table and I grab her plate of dinner from the microwave and place it in front of her. I also pour us both a glass of soft drink. I wink and tell her it's our secret.

I sit next to her and take her hand, holding it in my lap and without any urging from me she starts eating. I can tell she was hungry as she ate quickly finishing her plate within a few minutes.

"Sweets go grab your pajamas and go take a shower in my room and Mamma and I will be up in a few minutes okay?"

Callie stands up and puts her plate and glass in the sink and heads up the stairs and I sigh and let my body relax for a moment before going to talk to Lena and let her know what is happening.

 **Callie**

I am staring at myself in the mirror and I don't know who I am anymore. My face is red from crying and my eyes look sunken and dark. I look away; I can't take looking at me anymore. I take my shirt off and then my pants. I look at my legs and look at the scars and fresh wounds there. I stare at them, wondering how Stef and Lena can love me.

Turning the shower I step in ignoring the heat on my shoulders from the hot water. The water running over my head soothes me and I close my eyes allowing myself to relax for a minute.

The bedroom door opens and I can hear Stef and Lena talking in quiet tones. I know they are talking about me and I feel the guilt eating at my insides. They deserve a better daughter than me. What do I do for them? I just yell and make things hard.

I turn the water off and step out of the shower. I grab the towel of the rack and bring it my face. Smelling the slight scent of Lena's perfume. I close my eyes and focus on the smell and the comfort that it is weirdly bringing me and for a moment I am back at home with my mom.

A knock at the door brings me back and I starting drying off and getting dressed.

"Callie?"

I open the door to Stef and Lena's concerned faces and I lower my head. I cant bare to see the sadness in their eyes knowing I caused it.

Lena pulls me into a hug; I hug her back tightly and breathe in her smell. Her hair tickles my nose and I cannot help but giggle slightly.

"That is such a beautiful sound." Lena whispers in my ear.

I pull myself out of Lena's arms and sit on the edge of their bed. I struggle with my thoughts and what to say before I feel Stef taking my hand.

"Whenever I feel my walls start to come down, my mind tells me that you wont love me or that eventually you will all leave me."

I instantly close my mouth and pull my hand from Stef's, climbing to the top of the bed away. I pull my arms around my knees. I know I have said too much. I didn't mean to it just came out.

Stef and Lena are quiet and for a second I am terrified they wont say anything but before I finish the thought Stef is sitting next to me and Lena is in front of me.

"We love you Callie. We will never leave you." Lena says to me and I look up at her and I can see the truth in her eyes, I can also see the love in them. Maybe I really can trust them.


End file.
